我听说你升级了
So, I hear that you've upgraded,
而且你现在拥有了我已经有了好几年的
and now you have all the normal, regular features
这些正常而规律的特征
that I have had for years.
是的 我们只是机会之窗
Yep, we're nothing but windows of opportunity.
虽然这可能不是电脑的说法
And although it may not be PC to say so,
但我觉得我们终于…
I like to think that we've finally...
解决了所有的故障
fixed all the bugs.
保重
Gesundheit.
不好意思 那不是病毒 那不是病毒
Excuse me. That's not a virus. That's not a virus.
我很确定它不是病毒
I am sure that it's not a virus.
虽然 说实话 我其实不确定
Although, to be fair, I have no idea
因为我从来没有感染过病毒
because I have never had a virus.
- 所以… - 你为什么要做一个
- So... - Why do you have to be
如此傲慢的混蛋？
such a condescending douche bag?
嗯… 我…
Um, I--
我 我 我 它总是我这样我那样
I, I, I. It's "I" this and "I" that.
啵
Boop.
也许这一次我们应该别再把“我”还有
Maybe it is time we stopped talking about "I" all the time,
机会之窗挂在嘴边了
and windows of opportunity.
还有人记得人们依然比
Anybody else remember when people were smart
手机智能的时候吗
and phones were stupid?
今年秋天派将推出一款会
This fall, Pi is gonna launch a new phone
改变一切的新手机
that'll change things forever.
今天我们已经准备好给你带来
We're ready to bring you what you wanted
你昨天想要为今天准备的东西
yesterday for tomorrow today.
派 智能手机 给智慧的人
Pi. Smart phones for smarter people.
你真的想在广告里说“混蛋”这个词吗
Do you really want to say "douche bag" in the ad?
我没有说“混蛋”
I don't say "douche bag."
是那个穿着廉价西装的家伙说的
The guy in the cheap suit says "douche bag."
贝蒂 有来电吗？
Betty, any calls?
波诺问你还要不要去
Bono wants to know if you're still good
非洲旅行
for the trip to Africa.
告诉他我还没找到我一直在找的东西
Tell him I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
达赖喇嘛
The Dalai Lama.
你今天下午还在冥想吗？
Are you still on for meditation this afternoon?
劝他静下心来 答案就在内心
Advise him to still his mind. The answer lies within.
总统问
The president is asking,
我们能不能把会议改到周末去白宫开
can we move the meeting to the White House this weekend?
当然 完美 大卫营的蚊子太烦人了
Yes, perfect. Mosquitoes at Camp David are a bitch.
糟透了
Terrible.
比尔盖茨发来了一个电子邮件
Bill Gates sent an email
上面简单地回复了一个 “无耻”
that simply reads, "Cheeky."
说得好
Fair enough.
告诉他我想要回我的20块钱
Tell him I want my 20 bucks.
莎拉·罗素打电话来
Sarah Russell called
问你有关今晚高中同学20周年聚会的事
about your 20-year high school reunion tonight.
等等 等等 等等 什么20周年
Wait, wait, wait. Twenty-year what now?
20周年聚会 太棒了
Twenty-year reunion. This is great.
我们可以让所有人看看我们不再是乐色了
We'll show everyone we're not losers anymore.
格雷格 我们从来都不是乐色
Greg, we were never losers.
呃 是 我们曾经是
Uh, yeah, we were.
但是这现在重要了 不是吗
But that doesn't matter now, right?
噢 我明白了
Oh, I get it.
听着 没有什么好紧张的
Look, it's nothing to be nervous about.
会很有趣的 你知道吗
It could be a lot of fun, you know?
紧张？ 我为什么会因为
Nervous? Why would I be nervous
那些我20年都没见过了的人而紧张？
about people we haven't seen in 20 years?
伙计们？
Guys?
不 不
No! No!
需要我打电话取消吗？
Do you want me to call and cancel?
嗯 是的 麻烦你 告诉他们我病了
Uh, yes, please. Tell them I'm sick.
拜托 你上次十周年聚会也是用的这个借口
Come on, you used that one for the ten year.
贝蒂 这次聚会莎拉有什么想法吗？
Betty, what did Sarah want about the reunion?
她为什么打电话来？
Why was she calling?
我觉得她想要亚当知道
I believe she wanted to let Adam know
达茜·威廉姆斯问过他要不要去
that Darcie Williams was asking if he was going to be there.
达茜·威廉姆斯？
Darcie Williams?
是的 达茜·威廉姆斯
Yes, Darcie Williams.
我爱她
I love her.
高中：一个自尊
High school: where self-esteem,
纯真和梦想都会消逝的地方
innocence, and dreams go to die.
在这个难以忍受的炼狱里面 我们既没有小到仍然可以做小孩
The insufferable purgatory of being too old to be a kid,
又没有大到可以当成年人
too young to be an adult.
把所有那些要度过
The entire concept of placing all of those
尴尬而又意义重大的青春期 并最终进入一个巨大
going through their awkward, formative years of puberty
而又充满自我怀疑与焦虑
into one giant institution of self-doubt,
不得不时刻曲意逢迎的社会中的年轻人都聚在一起
forced pseudo-social structure, and anxiety,
这简直就是非同寻常而又残酷的折磨
it's a cruel and unusual punishment.
更糟糕的是 每隔几年都要以奇怪的
Even worse, this bizarre ritual of needing to get together
聚会形式来提醒我们不要
every couple of years as a reminder
忘记那段受伤的时光
of these traumatizing times.
这是来自过去的一记重拳
It's a blast from the past.
近乎疯狂
Borders on insanity.
我在九岁的时候生了一场大病
When I was nine years old, I got really sick.
我在医院住了六个星期
I spent six weeks in the hospital
整个大肠都被切除了
and had my entire large intestine taken out.
这是我一生中最痛苦的事情之一
It was one of the most traumatic events in my entire life.
然而我从来没有过和
And yet I've never felt the urge to get together
那些护士 患者 或者医生聚在一起
with the other nurses, patients, or doctors
并借此回忆过去美好的时光的冲动
and reminisce about the good old days.
我讨厌高中生活
I hated high school.
高中生活也讨厌我
High school hated me.
用史蒂芬·金先生的不朽名言来说
In the immortal words of Mr. Stephen King,
我讨厌高中生活
"I hated high school.
我不相信任何一个回忆往事的人
I don't trust anyone who looks back on
会带着愉悦的心情回忆14到18岁的时光
the years of 14 to 18 with any enjoyment.
如果你为自己的青少年时光感到高兴
If you liked being a teenager,
那么你一定有什么毛病
there's definitely something wrong with you."
重返校园
- 派先生 - 嘿 哈皮
- Mr. Pi. - Hey, Happy.
贝蒂 我要给汽车的最新
Betty, I'm gonna render the graphics
测试版操作系统画图纸
for the latest beta version of the OS from the car.
贝蒂 请隔离信号 把数据加密
Uh, Betty, isolate the signal and encrypt the data, please.
你知道的 这是最具革命性的发布产品
You know, this is the most revolutionary launch
- 因为它是触摸屏 - 是啊 让我们保护好它
- since the touchscreen. - Yeah, so let's protect it.
好
Okay.
是什么让这些使我如此紧张？
What is it about these people that make me so nervous?
我的舌头都打结了
I'm tongue-tied already.
你只要记住这个关键词——“让我们狂欢吧”
Just remember these key words-- "Let's party."
振作 这是我们的夜晚
Come on, this is our night.
- 那是件新衬衫吗？ - 对 是不是很酷？
- Is that a new shirt? - Yeah, cool shirt, right?
想想看 我们又要见到安迪和丹尼斯了
Just think, we're gonna get to see Andy and Dennis again.
没错 还有约翰·弗农 特雷弗·杰克逊
Yeah, and John Vernon, Trevor Jackson.
他们现在可能已经成熟了 对吧？
They've probably matured by now, right?
打扰一下 你能帮解决一下我和我的朋友们的赌局吗？
Excuse me, will you settle a bet for me and my friends?
你觉得这是做男朋友的好材料吗？
Does this feel like boyfriend material to you?
- 恶 - 你是百合吗？
- Ew. - Are you a lesbian?
因为我一个人只能说话 但是我们俩就可以做些别的
Because I can just talk and we can scissor.
走开 夜店迷奸犯
Back off, date rape.
你不是差不多100年前和我妈约会过吗？
Didn't you, like, date my mom 100 years ago or something?
我没那么老
I'm not that old.
不 我是认真的 你跟我妈约会过
No, seriously. You dated my mom.
你们今晚不去参加你们的聚会吗？
Aren't you guys going to your reunion later tonight?
达尔西·威廉姆斯？
Darcie Williams?
没错
Yeah.
她是我妈
She's my mom.
我才17岁 你这个恋童癖
I'm 17, you pedophile.
她之前给我看过她班级的照片
She was showing me pictures of her class earlier,
当时你们俩还在约会
from when you two were dating.
我想你应该正好穿的也是这件衣服
I think you might be wearing the exact same shirt.
噢 我的天
Oh, my God.
能给我们来点喝的吗？
Can we get some drinks over here?
我们不必待到最后 对吧？
We don't have to stay for the whole thing, right?
别啊 这次会不一样的
Come on, it's gonna be different this time.
我们所有人都长大了
We're all grown up.
今晚一定会很棒的
Tonight is gonna be awesome.
- 嘿 伙计 - 安迪 丹尼斯
- Hey, guys! - Andy, Dennis!
- 噢 - 真好
- Oh! - Nice.
很高兴你们来了
So glad you guys are here.
是啊 我们本来不准备来的 因为 你知道的……
Yeah, we weren't gonna come because, you know...
所有人都讨厌我们
Everyone hated us.
不过 嗯 谁知道呢 也许会很有趣呢
But, uh, who knows? Maybe it'll be fun.
嗯 那么 你们最近在忙些什么呢
Uh, so, what've you guys been up to?
我每周在游戏里呆几个晚上
I work a few nights a week at Game Land.
我在周末做游戏测试
I test games on the weekends.
天哪 编程 设计？
Sweet, programming, design?
不 不 不 我只是测试它们 就像 找乐子 知道吗？
No, no, no, I just test them, like, for fun, right?
在我家里
At my house.
也就是说 你没有工作？
So, you don't have a job?
- 我知道 很棒 对吧？ - 是的
- I know, sweet, right? - Yeah.
你们在高三的时候不就这样吗?
Weren't you guys doing it like that in the 12th grade?
我想我们大奖中早了
I guess we hit that jackpot early.
噢 不过你们有价值亿万的企业帝国
Ooh, but you guys got your whole billionaire empire thing.
那也很酷 对吧？
That's gotta be cool, though, too, yeah?
- 想要逃走去玩战裂吗？ - 当然
- Wanna bail and play Warcrack? - Absolutely.
不 伙计们
No, guys.
来吧 先生们
Come on, gentlemen.
今晚会很棒的 对吧？
Tonight is gonna be epic, right?
对吧？
Right?
跟着我
Follow me.
绯红的堕落
- 好 - 哇
- All right. - Whoo!
哈
Ha!
噗
Pfft
嗨
Hi.
史蒂芬·普罗比恩
Steve Probyn.
莎拉在找你
Sarah's looking for ya.
她在台上 看上去有点生气
She's on the stage and she looks pissed.
今晚少喝点 好吗？
Go easy on that tonight, okay?
没事 我父母开车接我回家
That's okay, my parents are driving me home.
你们好
Hello.
你们好
Hello.
你们好
Hello!
嗨
Hi.
以防有些人忘了我是谁
For those of you who don't remember,
我的名字是莎拉·罗素
my name is Sarah Russell.
欢迎 1997级同学
Welcome, class of 1997,
来参加我们的20周年高中聚会
to our 20-year high school reunion.
- 稍等一下 - 你烂透了
- Just one second. - You suck!
二十年
Twenty years.
二十年了
Twenty years.
哇哦
Wow.
我们1994年开始上高中
We started high school in 1994,
也就是科特·柯本去世 贾斯汀·比伯出生的那一年
the year that Kurt Cobain died and Justin Bieber was born.
喔
Whoo!
在能发短信之前 我们就开始上高中了
We started high school before texting.
而不仅仅是在智能手机发明之前 在手机发明之前
And not just before smartphones, before cell phones.
多疯狂啊
How crazy is that?
说到手机和互联网
And speaking of cell phones and the Internet,
我敢肯定你不想听
I'm sure you don't want to hear
你们中第二优秀的毕业生的告别演讲
from your runner-up valedictorian.
一点也不
Not at all.
他不需要介绍
He needs no introduction.
你们的…优秀毕业生告别演说
Your... valedictorian,
亚当·派先生
Mr. Adam Pi.
噢 谢谢你 莎拉
Ow. Thanks, Sarah.
嘿 同学们
Hey, class.
我还没想好要说什么
I'm not really sure what to say.
呃 天啊
Um, man,
如果我们那时就像现在一样明白这么多
could you imagine how amazing high school would be
你能想象高中会有多棒吗？
if we knew then what we know now?
我知道我那时候有一把大锤子
I knew I had a big hammer back then
我现在依然记得它
and I still know it now.
亚当 谢谢你精心准备的演讲
Thank you, Adam, for that very well-prepared speech.
让我们举杯…
So, let's raise a--
我没有杯子
I don't have a glass.
把你的杯子给我 把你的杯子给我
Give me your glass. Give me your glass!
让我们为1997届毕业生干杯
Let's raise a glass to the class of 1997.
让我们像37岁的年轻人一样狂欢吧
Let's party like we're 37-teen.
我们走
Let's go.
真不敢想象你竟然把我扯进来
I can't believe you roped me into this.
我告诉过你 你应该说“让我们狂欢吧”
I told you, you shoulda just said, "Let's party."
伙计们
D-dudes.
我很确定她喜欢我的衬衫
I'm pretty sure she likes my shirt.
她整晚都在看我的衬衫
She's been looking at my shirt all night.
她是我的
She's mine.
看看 你们这些白痴
Look at that, you twat-dodgers.
我一点也没变老
I haven't aged a bit.
我有个坏消息要告诉你 伙计
I got bad news for you, man.
你在高中看起来显老 现在看起来就像古董
You looked old in high school, you look ancient now.
去死吧 杰夫 我看起来帅呆了
Suck a dick, Jeff. I look fucking great.
今晚我是帅气的天才
Tonight I'm the handsome genius
还从没有发挥出自己的潜力
who never achieved his full potential.
是的 你就像心灵捕手里演的
Yeah, you're just like Good Will Hunting,
只不过你没有得到那个女孩 而且还是个彻底的失败者
except you never got the girl and you're a complete failure.
我是个天才
I'm a fucking genius.
我是这群人中唯一通过数学考试的人 荣誉2级
I'm the only one out of this group who passed math. Honors 2.
你们知道 我还和你们这群混蛋一起工作的唯一原因
You know, the only reason why I still work with you jerks
就是我在等你们当中的哪个人
is I'm waiting for one of you guys
来给我阿弗莱克演讲 说
to give me the Affleck speech that you'll kill me
如果我不搬走并充分发挥我的潜力 你会杀了我
if I haven't moved away and achieved my full potential.
没人会给你那个演讲的 伙计
No one's giving you that speech, pal.
嘿 杰夫 还记得你上次和你妹妹上床吗？
Hey, Jeff, remember the last time you fucked your sister?
天呐 她不是我妹妹
Jesus Christ, she wasn't my sister.
- 你爸和她妈结婚了吗？ - 是的
- Did your dad marry her mom? - Yes.
然后你们父母又生了一个孩子
And your parents had another kid,
所以说你弟弟和她弟弟是同一个人
so your brother and her brother are the exact same dude.
- 是的 - 所以你 我的朋友
- Yeah. - Then you, my friend,
- 你是个操妹货 - 嗯…嗯
- are a sister-fucker. - Mm-hmm.
你是个跟你妹妹上床的混蛋
You are a fucker of the sister.
我和丹妮尔开始约会之后 我爸才和她妈认识
My dad met her mom after Danielle and I started dating.
- 然后… - 然后在他们结婚之后
- And... - And then we broke up
- 我们就分手了 - 那你们父母在一起的时候
- after they got married. - Did you have sex with her
你和她上过床吗
while your parents were together?
- 有一次 - 操妹货
- Once. - Sister-fucker.
那是丹妮尔吗？
Was that Danielle?
- 是的 - 是的
- Yeah. - Yup.
她可能在找她的哥哥
She's probably looking for her brother.
- 恶 - 真恐怖
- Ew. - Creepy.
不 不
No, no.
好吧 我讨厌这个 实在讨厌这个
Okay, I hate this. Officially hate this.
我不会 我不会一直待在这里
I'm not-- I'm not gonna stay for the whole thing.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我在说我感觉这对我来说就像是一场
I'm talking about the fact that this feels like
“嘿 艾米 你变成了一个彻头彻尾的失败者”派对
my, "Hey, Amy, you turned into a huge loser" party.
你看起来很棒
You look amazing.
你生计不愁 拥有美好的生活
You make a good living. You have a great life.
好吧 克莱尔 我在高中的时候
Okay, Claire, I starred in every single play
主演了所有的舞台剧 好吗？
in high school, okay?
每个人都觉得我会成为名人
Everyone expected me to be the famous one.
还记得我被一个洛杉矶的顶级经纪人物色到吗
Remember when I was scouted by a top LA manager.
是啊 你在史蒂文·西格尔
Yeah, you did background work
一部在这里拍摄的电影里做过幕后工作
on a Steven Seagal movie that shot here
他的经纪人当时想搞你
and his agent tried to screw you.
- 噢 - 物色到？意思有些宽泛了吧
- Ooh. - Scouted? Bit of a stretch.
随你怎么说吧 还有 你就是个婊子
Tomato, tomahto. Also, you're a bitch.
跟我说说 你认不认为每个人
Tell me, do you or do you not think that everyone
都觉得我会成为我们班最出名的人？
expected me to be the famous one from our class?
好吧 滚吧
Okay, fuck off.
嘿 好吧 听着 听着 你站在我旁边
Hey, okay, look, look, just stand beside me.
都不会有任何人会注意到你
No one will even notice you.
我想我们现在做的事
Well, I think that we're all doing something different
都与高中时的预期不太相符
than we thought we'd be doing in high school.
我卖保险
I sell insurance.
我烂透了 我真的很烂
I'm lame. I actually suck.
今晚整晚都会是
This is gonna be an entire night
“她到底怎么了”此起彼伏
of "What in sweet hell happened to her?"
是我一个人 还是我们班上的每个人
Is it me or is, like, everyone in our class
看上去都开始变老了？
starting to look old?
我不知道 亚当·派看起来不错
I don't know. Adam Pi looks pretty good.
你们也知道人们是怎么说那些
You know what they say about a man
拥有巨款的人的
with a big bank account.
- 你说起话来像个妓女 - 更糟的称谓我也不是没听过
- You sound like a hooker. - I've been called worse.
还记得这个白痴吗？他妈的派
Remember this shithead? Fucking Pi.
我真不敢相信他一年挣的钱
I can't believe he makes more money in one year
会比我们一生挣的都多
than we will in our lifetimes combined.
谁会想到计算机会流行起来呢
Who woulda thought computers woulda caught on?
我知道 真是个白痴 对吧？
I know, what an idiot, right?
是吧？ 我是说 他现在是百万富翁了
Right? I mean, yeah, he's a millionaire now,
但代价是什么呢？
but at what cost?
他在高中唯一操过的就是他的手
The only thing he fucked in high school was his hand,
我听说他连二垒都没上过
and I heard it didn't even go past second base.
亿万富翁
Billionaire.
他现在可是亿万富翁了
He's now a multi-billionaire,
而且你会惊讶于这只手
and you would be surprised at what this hand
让我在高中对她做了什么
let me do to her in high school.
一个完完全全的荡妇 她毫无节操可言
A complete slut. She had like no self-respect.
没关系 那是很久以前的事了
It's okay. That was a long time ago.
如果这些都不是真的 我会很难过的
I'd be upset if any of it wasn't true.
让我来请你们喝一杯吧
Let me buy you guys a drink.
呃 是我们应该请你喝一杯
Uh, we should buy you a drink
因为我们是彻头彻尾的混蛋
'cause we were complete assholes.
我个人认为是那个操妹货
I personally blame the sister-fucker.
实在是降低了我们的整体水平
Really lowers the bar for this group.
嘿 伙计们 我刚把卫生纸尿了个遍
Hey, guys, I just pissed all over the toilet paper.
如果有人憋不住了呢 伙计
What if someone's gotta go, dude?
对啊 希望如此
Yeah, let's hope.
有没有可能那个家伙一直活在高中里?
Is it possible that guy hasn't even left high school?
我觉得我20年前就有过这样的对话
I feel like I had this conversation 20 years ago.
真是个烂人
What a piece of shit.
97级
搞什么鬼
What in the fuck?
我…对不起 我…我…
I'm-- I'm sorry, I-- I--
你干嘛不好好看看自己的路呢？
Why don't you watch where the hell you're going,
尿裤鬼？
Shits-his-pantsky?
嘿 你的裤子多少钱
Hey how much for your pants?
- 裤子怎么了？ - 嗯…
- What's with the pants? - Uh...
我以为每个人都穿着90年代的衣服
I thought everybody was wearing '90s stuff.
你最近在忙什么 约翰?
So, what have you been up to, John?
我是个警察
I'm a cop.
好吧 那这一段
Okay, so you're not
你应该没有揍人吧
beating people up these days.
法律要求我选打人的目标时比以前
I'm required by law to be a little more selective
更挑剔一点
than I used to be.
不如让我请大家喝一杯吧？
Why don't I buy everybody a drink?
事实上 今晚剩下的时间
As a matter of fact, drinks are on me
酒水算我身上
for the rest of the night.
耶 亚当
Yay, Adam.
亚当 亚当
Adam! Adam!
更多喝的来了
Here come more drinks.
这个派对马上就要燃起来了
This party's about to get lit.
你还活着吗？
Are you gonna live?
浴缸可冲不了 亲爱的
You can't flush the tub, sweetie.
哇 喔 喔 喔 喔 哇
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
- 什么鬼？ - 怎么回事？ 我在哪？
- What the hell? - What's going on? Where am I?
我刚去了趟洗手间
I just went to go to the bathroom.
我想我回错房间了
I think I came back to the wrong room.
放松 大家冷静一下
Easy. Everybody calm down.
这家伙想强奸我
This guy tried to rape me.
我没有试图强奸任何人
I did not try to rape anyone.
那你为什么光着身子？
Why are you naked?
我没有光着身子 内裤 我有内裤
I'm not naked. Underwear. I have underwear.
你他妈的对我的仓鼠做了什么？
What did you do to my fucking hamster?
别说脏话
Watch your mouth!
不过你他妈的对他的仓鼠做了什么？
But what did you do to his fucking hamster?
嘿 抱歉 我不知道我是怎么进到那个房间的
Hey, sorry. I have no idea how I got in that room
还有什么仓鼠 还有他…
or anything about the hamster or what he was--
放轻松 理查德·基尔
Easy, Richard Gere.
珍妮找到它了 在他弟弟的房间里
Jenny found it. It was in his little brother's room.
你的孩子吗？
Those your boys?
过继的
Step boys.
继子
Step sons.
昨晚玩得很开心 是吗?
Had a good time last night, yeah?
他妈的 是的
Fuck, yeah.
我真想再读一次高中
I'd kill to do high school again.
昨晚我很兴奋
I was in the zone last night.
你不觉得我们在17岁 荷尔蒙
Don't you think it's weird that we do high school
完全混乱的时候上高中奇怪极了吗
when we're 17 during total hormonal confusion?
没有谁的思维是正常的
Nobody was in the right frame of mind.
没有人能像他们希望的那样完成高中学业
Nobody did high school like they wanted to.
那是你吧 我在高中可是国王
Speak for yourself. I was the king in high school.
姑娘们想上我 小伙子们想成为我
Chicks wanted to fuck me, dudes wanted to be me.
我希望我能再上一次 这次我会完全不同
I wish I could do it again. I would do it so differently.
如果可以呢？
What if you could?
- 你愿意吗？ - 什么意思？
- Would you? - What do you mean?
如果我们真能重新回到高中时代呢？
What if we did high school all over again?
比如 如果我们把所有的老师 还有
Like, what if we got all our teachers together,
我们班的每个人聚在一起 再上一次
everybody from our class, and we did it again,
大概 上个 一个月？
but for, like, a month?
首先 我还有按揭要付
For starters, I got a mortgage to pay.
如果钱不是问题呢？
What if money was no issue?
如果我能给你和你做园林绿化
What if I gave you the same amount of money
一样多的钱呢？
you'd make landscaping?
你疯了 你知道吗？
You're crazy, you know that?
如果我给你一年的工资
What if I gave you one year's salary
买你一个月的时间呢？
for one month of your time?
再上一个月的高中？
One more month of high school?
你是认真的吗？
Are you serious?
这主意好极了
This is a great idea.
坏主意 昨晚不是个好主意
Bad idea. Last night was a bad idea.
那个聚会 比高中还糟糕
That reunion, it sucked more than high school did.
还记得你高三的时候晕过去了 然后特雷弗
Remember in 12th grade when you passed out
在你脸上画了个鸡巴的事吗？
and Trevor drew a dick on your face?
你说得对 那件更糟
You're right, that was worse.
其实差不多
Kinda the same.
不 他说的对 那件糟多了
No, he's right. That was way worse.
不不不 其实差不多
No, no, kinda the same.
婊子养的
Son of a bitch.
操
Fuck.
等等 你们非要现在告诉我吗？
Wait, this is when you guys tell me?
现在 在早餐时间？
Now, at breakfast?
不是想让你觉得反胃
Didn't want you to be uncomfortable.
是他的错
His fault.
整个班级一起呆一个月？
The entire grad class for one month?
那老师呢？
What about teachers?
没错 所有老师 还有我们班的每个人
Yes, all of the old teachers, everyone from our class,
就像以前那样
just like it was.
你是学校的什么董事会代表 对吧？
You're some sort of school board rep, yeah?
代理主管
Deputy superintendent.
好 那你能搞定许可 起草法律文件
Okay, so, you can get clearance, draw up the legal paperwork.
我给你一年的工资作为过一个月高中生活的补偿
One year's salary for one more month of high school.
这是你做优秀生演讲的机会
It's your chance to be valedictorian.
嗯 本来就应该是我的机会
Well, it should have been mine in the first place.
我以前成绩更好 参加过更多活动
I had better grades, I was in way more activities,
我只是…
I just--
条款和条件是什么？
What are the terms and conditions?
用你现在已有的经验
One more crack at doing the things
重新体验过去的生活
you'd have done then using what you know now.
- 终极重来活动 - 嗯 嗯哼
- The ultimate do-over. - Uh-huh.
你怎么说 史蒂夫？
So, what do you say, Steve?
高中吗？ 给多少钱
High school again? How much?
- 你好？ - 你好？
- Hello? - Hello?
- 你好？ - 怎么了？
- Hello? - What's up?
- 怎么了？ - 有事吗？
- What's up? - Whassap?
回哪儿去？ 回学校去？
Back to what? Back to school?
是的 同样的班级同学 同样的老师们
That's right. Same classes, same teachers.
每个人都去吗？
Is everyone gonna be there?
放到那边
That goes over there.
我们每天都得去吗？
Do we have to go every day?
这是你按你希望的样子
One more chance to do high school
再上一遍高中的机会
the way you wish you would've done it.
我是单身妈妈 我可没有时间做作业
I'm a single mom. I don't have time to do homework.
好吧 好吧 你是说你发明了时间旅行
Okay, okay, what you're saying is you invented time travel.
我们并不是真的要时间旅行
We're not actually time traveling.
现在存在的仍然存在
What exists now still exists.
我可不去做处女膜手术 亚当
I can't just surgically redo my hymen, Adam.
它被撕成了碎片
It's ripped to shreds.
大家都会穿着裤子的 所以没人会注意到
Everything will be pants on, so nobody will notice.
那是不是我们当时跟谁约会
It it supposed to be, like, we're dating
现在也要 还是…
who we were dating, too, or...?
好吧 但我不会再帮史蒂夫·普罗文打飞机了
Okay, but I'm not giving Steve Probyn a hand job again.
- 史蒂夫？ - 是的
- Steve? - Yeah.
我要买一本旧的体育年历……
I'm gonna buy an old sports almanac...
- 什么 不行… - 赌一些以前的比赛
- What, no-- - ...bet on some old games.
我要成为兆万富翁
And I'm gonna be a gajillionaire.
他妈的 耶 我要去
Fuck, yeah! I'm in.
我110%会去
I'm in 110%.
- 啵…耶 - 我要去
- Boo-yah. - I'm in.
我要回高中了
I'm going back to high school.
- 好的 - 耶
- Okay. - Yeah.
真是太… 噢 我得挂了
It is so… Oh I have to go
它不是辆1.21兆瓦驱动的德劳瑞恩（电影《回到未来》中作为时光机的车）
It's not a DeLorean and 1.21 gigawatts,
但这是我回到未来的机会
but it is my chance to go back to the future.
我要回学校了 妈 去你妈的
I'm going back to school, Mom. Fuck you.
派氏科技
这是个坏主意
This is a bad idea.
这是一个非常糟糕的主意
It's a very bad idea.
你也是这样说触摸屏的
You said the same thing about touchscreens.
嗯 是的 对于那些手机主要用于工作的人
Well, yeah, for people who use their phones
你知道吧 收发电子邮件 信息什么的
primarily for work. You know, email, texting.
这些东西没有触觉反馈
There's no tactile feedback.
难道一切不是都不可避免地转向语音指令吗？
Is everything not inevitably shifting to voice command?
随着设备从外部变得可穿戴
With devices moving from external to wearable,
甚至含有内置功能模式
or even internal modes of functionality.
是的 而且 我们应该让这些家伙在研发部门工作
Yes, and yes. We should get these guys jobs in R&D.
亚当 我们马上要举行一个大型的产品发布会
Adam, we've got a huge product launch coming up.
如果我们现在放一个月的假回去上学
If we take a month off now to go back to school,
我们就要求这些家伙给我们工作了
we're gonna be asking these guys for jobs.
你的公众形象怎么办
What about your public image?
我们会让他们签署保密协议的
We'll get people to sign nondisclosure agreements.
拜托 难道你就没有什么想改变的吗
Come on, isn't there one thing you wish you'd done differently?
不再拉自己一裤子？
Not shit myself?
这件事为什么对你这么重要
Why is this so important to you?
我是说 你已经拥有了一切
I mean, you already have everything.
如果你想达茜·威廉姆斯 你现在就可以
If you want Darcie Williams, you can do it now present day,
不需要回到高中
without going back to high school.
前门
Front door.
听着 你自己说的 我什么都有
Look, you said it yourself, I have everything.
但没有有关高中的美好回忆 好吗？
But positive memories of high school, okay?
我只是想让我的“高中”能“酷”起来 就这一次
I just want to put the "cool" in "high school," just once.
安迪和丹尼斯也去
Andy and Dennis are in.
当我还小的时候 我向自己承诺
I promised myself when I was little
我要在高中破处
I would lose my virginity in high school.
我不会失败的
I will not fail.
贞操不会再长出来的 安迪
Virginity doesn't grow back, Andy.
一旦你失去了它 那就没了
Once you lose it, you lose it.
噢 安迪
Oh, Andy.
你的客人们到了
Your guests have arrived.
好了 先生们 让我们开始重写历史吧
Well, gentlemen, let's start rewriting history.
所以说 代理把一切都说清楚了
So, the agency made everything clear.
你想让我们看你玩电子游戏
You want us to watch you play video games.
并且热情地为你加油
And cheer you on enthusiastically.
可以摸 但是不能做爱
Touching's okay, but no sex.
你们彼此做可以吗
With each other is okay.
不 不做爱
No, no sex.
我们只是想让你欣赏我们野兽的一面
We just want you to appreciate our beast mode skills.
但是你知道价格是一样的
But you know that the price is the same
不管你是否和我们做爱 对吗？
whether or not you have sex with us, right?
如你所愿
Just as requested, please.
我知道 这很奇怪 少些评判的眼光吧
I know, it's weird. Less judgy eyes.
我们14岁的时候想到了这个
We came up with this when we were 14.
你们确定这样可以吗？
Are you guys sure this is okay?
哦 是的 这实际上更性感
Oh, yeah, this is actually way sexier.
完全是
Totally.
我现在就可以把面条捏碎了
I could seriously crush some noodles right now.
跟我结婚吧
Marry me.
所以 你去吗？
So, are you in?
我们必须再和高中时约会过的女孩约会吗
Do we have to date the same girls we dated in high school?
可以 必须 想要 有什么区别呢？
Get to, have to, want to. What's the difference?
你们知道这很可悲 对吧
You guys know this is pathetic, right?
这太令人绝望了
This is so desperate.
你爸爸好像觉得这件事…
Your dad seems to think that it's--
嘿 特雷弗不是我爸爸
Hey, Trevor is not my dad.
特雷弗是我妈妈的一个小错误
Trevor is my mom's mistake.
哇哦
Wow.
你知道我能听见的 对吧？
You know I can hear you, right?
那我可宽心了
That's a relief.
我还担心我说得不够大声呢
I was worried I wasn't saying it loud enough.
好了 你们两个 够了
All right, you two. That's enough.
所以呢？ 我们可以请假吗？
So? Can we get the time off work?
现在是淡季 我本来要把你们两个裁了的
I was gonna have to lay you two off since it's the slow season.
但我告诉亚当我们挣的是平时的两倍
But I told Adam that we make twice as much as we do.
他连气都没喘一下
Didn't even phase him.
- 特雷弗 - 怎么？
- Trevor. - What?
他又不是付不起
It's not like he can't afford it.
我们回来了 伙计们
We are back, boys!
97级
Grad '97!
哇噢
Whoo!
你来学校的第一天是开着德劳瑞恩来的吗？
You showed up to the first day of school in a DeLorean?
- 太过了吗？ -太过了
- Too much? - Too much.
你 要换件衣服吗？
You, uh, gonna change those clothes?
我们要去的地方 不需要穿衣服
Where we're going, we don't need clothes.
什么？
What?
你就是我的天命
You are my density.
1.21兆瓦 1.21兆瓦
1.21 gigawatts! 1.21 gigawatts!
格雷特 格雷特 等等
Greg! Greg, wait up!
- 抱歉 借过一下 - 对不起
- Excuse me, coming through. - Excuse me.
你做了什么？
What have you done?
相信我 一定会很棒的
Trust me, this is gonna be amazing.
嘿 伙计
Hey, guys.
第一天上学 你是紧张还是兴奋？
You excited or nervous for the first day?
是的
Yeah.
给我振作起来
Pull your shit together.
噢 嘿 亲爱的
Oh, hey, honey.
天啊 你真丢人
God, you are so humiliating.
你不觉得这很疯狂吗
Don't you think it's crazy
我怎么会有一个和我一样年级的女儿呢?
how I have a daughter in the same grade as me?
哦 和我们一样 很奇怪 对吧?
Well, as us. It's weird, right?
那套衣服真棒
That's a great outfit.
谢谢 我去买了点东西为返校做准备
Thanks, I went back-to-school shopping
感觉就像回到了过去
and it felt like old times.
她是这么说的
That's what she said, heh.
不管怎样 嗯 谢谢
Anyway, um, thanks.
我见过你和一些
I have seen you in rooms
世界上最有权势的领导人同处一室
with some of the most powerful leaders in the world.
也透过豪华酒店的墙壁听到过
I've listened through walls of lavish hotels
当你和超模们疯狂性爱时的声音
while you've had mad, crazy, tantric sex with supermodels.
但是十秒钟之后 见到达尔西·威廉姆斯
But ten seconds with Darcie Williams,
你会瓦解的
you just fall to pieces.
嘿 借过一下
Hey, excuse me.
好
Yeah.
哟
Yo.
哦
Ooh.
我不记得你是谁 这简直要了我的命
It is killing me that I don't remember who you are.
但我认为你不能坐在那里
But I don't think you can sit there.
那是给瓦格纳先生的
That's for Mr. Wagner.
但我十分乐意把我的桌子当作双层床
But I'd be more than happy to treat my desk as a bunk bed.
你想要上面还是下面
You want top or bottom?
瓦格纳先生是我的父亲
Mr. Wagner was my father.
不幸的是 他不能来
Unfortunately, he could not be here,
所以罗素小姐问我是否愿意代替他
so Miss Russell asked if I would take his place.
扯淡 怎么说的 派
That's bullshit. Come on, Pi.
你说过我们要“百分之百”还原
You said we're gonna do this "100%."
是啊 你爸爸有什么大事忙得
Yeah, what is your dad doing that's so important
他今天都不能来？
he couldn't be here today?
那太像他了
That is so like him.
他一直是这样一个贱货
He was always such a cunt.
他死了 死于白血病
He died. Leukemia.
老实说 伙计 这理由够正当了
Gotta be honest, dude. That's a legit reason.
我们为你感到遗憾 你父亲是个伟大的人
We're sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在 能不能请你们每个人都
Now, does everybody want to open their books
打开课本翻到第12页
and turn to page 12, please?
你在开玩笑 对吧？
You're kidding, right?
对不起 有什么问题吗
I'm sorry, is there a problem?
不不不 没有问题
No, no, no problem.4
你想让我们上课 真的上课?
So, you want us to take classes, like, for real?
学校好像就是干这个的吧
That's kind of how school works.
伙计们 必须所有的都对应 要不然就是白扯
Guys, it's gotta be the whole deal or no deal.
打扰一下 请你坐好好吗？
Excuse me, can you please sit down?
对不起 我是亚当·派
I'm sorry. I'm Adam Pi.
我知道你是谁 亚当
I know who you are, Adam.
我的名单上有你的名字
I have your name in my list.
哦
Ooh.
好的 如果你不介意的话 我想继续
Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get back
去教我的学生有关民权运动的知识
to teaching my students about the Civil Rights movement.
- 嗨 - 嘿
- Hi. - Hey.
你 嗯… 你看起来美极了
You, uh-- you look incredible.
谢谢 你也是
Thanks. So do you.
嘿 瞧瞧我这30多快要40的
Hey, having my brother and sister here
- 哥哥姐姐 - 呃 呃 只是… 不
- in their late 30s. - Uh, um, just-- no.
不管怎样 我不希望任何人
Whatever. I just don't want anyone
知道我们是亲戚 好吗?
to know we're related, all right?
这是我的毕业季
This is my senior year.
我不希望你们两个来把事情搞砸
I don't need you two screwing it up.
- 他知道我们以前… - 不知道
- Does he know that we used to-- - No.
不 我们答应过爸爸再也不提这件事
No, we promised Dad we would never speak of it again.
嗯 好吧 我们答应过你爸爸
Uh, okay, so we promised your dad.
-我爸 -因为当你说"爸”
- My dad. - Because when you say "Dad,"
- 这很奇怪 - 奇怪
- it's weird, yeah. - Weird.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey. - Hey.
你知道你不能坐在这里的 对吧？
You know you can't sit here, right?
你知道你还没有大到
You know you're not too big
可以不被打屁股 对吧？
for a spanking, right?
你为什么要这么做？
Why are you doing this?
你不觉得你已经毁了我的生活？
Don't you think you already wrecked my life enough?
你们不是应该在
Shouldn't you guys be eating
老师休息室吃点东西吗？
in the teacher's lounge or something?
你想让我们觉得自己老了吗？
Is that supposed to make us feel old?
你知道我现在37岁身材都
You do know that I'm in better shape at 37
比你17岁的更好吧
than you are at 17.
它们叫沙拉 女士们 尝一尝
They're called salads, ladies. Try one.
天啊 你们太可爱了
God, you guys are so cute.
你以为你什么都知道？
You think you know everything?
你以为你知道如何用伤人的话
You think you know how to disassemble someone
击溃一个人吗？
with hurtful words?
亲爱的 我们比你们多20年的经验
Darlings, we've got 20 more years experience than you.
试试看啊 笨蛋
Try us, twats.
噢 你觉得很有趣吗
Oh, you think it's funny.
我们手上有个小可爱呢
We got a cutie on our hands.
你以为我们是喜剧演员？
You think we're comedians?
听着 我想告诉你一件我一直
Look, I want to tell you something.
在考虑的事
I've been thinking about it.
等等 艾玛
Wait, Emma.
天啊 这个小可爱以为这所学校她说了算呢
Oh, my God, this cutie thinks she rules this school.
你显然不配
You are clearly not worthy.
我讨厌你
I hate you.
亲爱的 别忘了换便笺簿
Don't forget to change your pad, sweetie.
艾琳 艾琳 呃 韦格纳女士 等等
Erin! Erin! Uh, Ms. Wegner, wait.
派先生 需要帮助吗？
Mr. Pi, how can I help you?
- 这是那个同步笔记的应用吗？ - 是的
- Is that the Synrnote app? - It is.
这是我发明的
I kinda created that.
所以你知道那哔的一声意味着我要迟到了
So you realize that beep means I'm late for something.
实际上 你可以让它发出哔哔声也可以振动 或者…
Actually, you can make that a beep or a vibration or a--
对 抱歉 我只是想为…
right, sorry, I just wanted to apologize for--
- 派先生 抱歉 我… - 亚当 亚当
- Mr. Pi, I'm sorry... - Adam, Adam.
…刚才不该对你发脾气
...for snapping on you earlier.
我只是…我从来没有过
I just-- I've never taught a class
给一班比我年长的人上过课
where I was the youngest in the room
我觉得我需要维护自己
and I felt I needed to assert myself.
听着 你付了我们很多钱
Look, you paid us a lot of money
我想保证这种体验
and I want to make sure the experience
像你要求的那样真实
is as authentic as you'd asked
让你尽可能体会到高中的感觉
and make it as high school as possible for you.
嗨
Hi.
我觉得我有点社交恐惧
I am feeling socially awkward,
缺乏安全感 一切都有点怪异
insecure, and a little weird about everything.
就像高中时那样
Just like high school.
- 啊哦 - 妈的
- Uh-oh. - Shit.
- 噢 - 真棒
- Oh! - Yes!
哇哦
Wow.
以免你们有人不记得我了
For those of you who don't remember,
我是佩恩先生
I am Mr. Payne.
欢迎来到…
Welcome to...
性教育
Sex Ed!
安静
Quiet!
今天我们要讨论的是生殖腺
Today we're discussing the reproductive gland.
有谁想上来辨认一下
Anyone want to come up and identify
女性的身体结构吗?
parts of the female anatomy?
杰克逊先生吗？ 谢谢你
Mr. Jackson? Thank you.
好啊 我能“起来”
Sure. I can come up there.
你觉得你很有趣 杰克逊先生
You think you're very funny, Mr. Jackson.
你能辨认出阴唇的内部吗?
Can you please identify the interior labia commissures?
不用了 佩恩先生
No need, Mr., Payne.
我会告诉你你需要知道的一切
I'm gonna show you everything you need to know.
这是星期一到星期五做的
This is for Mondays through Fridays.
这是周末 假期还有
This is for weekends, holidays,
特别的场合做的 耶
and special occasions, yeah.
说得就像一个从未真正满足过爱人的人
Spoken like someone who never truly satisfied a lover.
- 噢 - 确实是
- Ooh. - That's true.
派先生？
Mr. Pi?
哦 这很好
Oh, this'll be good.
哦
Ooh.
你差得更远了
You're not even close.
你从后面是找不到
You can't locate the interior labial commissure
阴唇内部的
from the backside.
实际上 这是找到阴唇内部
Actually, it's the best way to identify
最好的办法了
the interior labial commissure.
事实上 你可以通过这个姿势舒适而有效地
In fact, you can identify most of the female anatomy
体验女性的大部分构造
comfortably and effectively from this position.
从我的经验来看 最好是
It's been my experience the best place to start
从大阴唇开始
is with the labia majora,
然后转向小阴唇
drifting attention towards the labia minora.
不好意思 我们当中有些人想要真得
Excuse me, some of us are actually trying
能学到一些东西
to learn something here.
闭嘴 小公主 我们正学着呢
Shut it, princess. We are learning.
没错 亚当 不要停 好吗？
Yeah, Adam, don't stop, okay?
讲下去 讲 讲 讲
Just keep going, going, going, going.
派先生 那…
Mr. Pi, but...
你能给我们讲讲男性解剖学知识吗？
what can you tell us about the male anatomy?
哎呦 没有人比他自己碰他香肠的次数多了
Tons. Nobody's touched his wiener more than he has.
噢
Oh.
只要知识到位 快乐可以两头进行 佩恩先生
Pleasure is a two-way street and knowledge is key, Mr. Payne.
我可以给你演示如何经直肠
I can show you how to access the seminal vesicles
而不扰乱输精管地进入精囊
via the rectum without upsetting the vas deferens.
哦 你这个厚脸皮的猴子
Oh, you cheeky monkey.
我不得不说 我印象太深刻了
I have to say, I am impressed.
嗯 我说 我可以哪天私下里给你授课
Well, I mean, I could give you some private lessons sometime.
也许我会接受你的邀请
Maybe I'll take you up on that.
可以啊 完全可以
Yeah, totally.
好 回头见?
Okay, well, I'll see you later?
你在干什么？ 这是机会啊
Uh, what are you doing? It's your chance.
不 现在不是时候
No, it's not the right time.
- 还不是时候 - 噢 娘炮
- It's not the right time. - Oh. Pussy.
嘿 达茜 等等
Hey, Darcie, wait up!
- 嘿 怎么了？ - 嘿
- Hey, what's up? - Hey.
我想知道你是否想找个时间一起出去？
I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out sometime?
就像朋友那样？
Like, just as friends?
好啊 好 我很乐意
Yeah. Yeah, I would like that.
一会儿见
I'll see you later.
“就像朋友那样”？ 真是够了
"Just as friends"? Come on.
让我们记住这个关键点
Let's remember the important part of the conversation.
我和达茜·威廉姆斯有个约会
I have a date with Darcie Williams.
噢 我的天
Oh, my God.
你知道我刚刚在想什么吗？
Do you know what I've been thinking about?
我高中毕业后要做什么
What I'm gonna do after high school.
我要去上大学吗？ 我不知道
Am I gonna go to college? I don't know.
我要去欧洲待两年并
Am I gonna go to Europe for two years
最终找到自我吗？
and finally find myself?
你也知道我们只有一个月的时间 对吧？
You know we're only doing this for a month, right?
说真的 你不觉得这是我们思考有关“你长大后想成什么样的人?”
Seriously, don't you feel like this is our second shot
这个问题的第二次机会吗
at, "What do you want to be when you grow up"?
你想成为什么样的人?
What do you want to be?
我很确定 和杰西卡一起上高中
I'm pretty sure that having Jessica in high school
一早就决定了我的人生道路
dictated my path, like, a long time ago.
不 并不是 好吗？
No, it didn't, okay?
这是第二次机会
This is a second chance.
你今晚要不要跟派出去?
Are you or are you not going out with Pi tonight?
天啊 我都好久没约会了
Oh, my God, I haven't been on a date in ages.
我甚至不知道这是什么
I'm not even sure what this is.
噢 天啊 闭嘴
Oh, my God, shut up.
给我闭嘴
Shut the hell up.
你还有你那怀孕后的松弛阴道需要这个 好吗？
You and your post-pregancy huge vagina need this, okay?
把握机会
Take this opportunity.
好吧 我完全是在瞎说
Okay, I was full lying.
你知道吗？ 如果你做足够的凯格尔健肌法
Do you know if you do enough kegels,
你的阴道完全可以自己玩自己 手都不用
your vagina can literally play with itself, hands-free,
就像阴道里有个蓝牙
like a Bluetooth for your vagina?
自打我到这儿之后我真的就一直在
I've literally been touching myself
不用手自摸
hands free since I got here.
不 我现在要高潮了
Oh, no, I'm gonna orgasm right now,
两秒后 哦 我的天
in like two seconds. Oh, my God.
这对你来说很尴尬 但对我来说感觉很好
This is so awkward for you but it's so good for me.
噢 我的天 看看我
Oh, my God, watch me.
天啊 小心我的裤子 他们会湿透的
Oh, my God, watch my pants. They're gonna get so wet.
- 噢 不 - 白天也喝酒
- Oh, no. - Day drinking.
-不 不 - 真棒
- No. No. - Perfect.
所以可以肯定你喝多了所以
So it's safe to assume you're too drunk
没办法带我去足球选拔赛了?
to take me to soccer tryouts?
我已经喝了半杯酒了
I've had half a glass of wine.
- 你真可悲 - 天啊 我要晕过去了
- You are so pathetic. - My God, I'm gonna pass out.
噢 我的天 我在想你和亚当
Oh, my God, I'm thinking about you and Adam.
噢不 噢不 派
Oh, no. Oh, no. Pi!
噢天呐
Oh, my God.
不管怎样 特伦特会带我去
Whatever. Trent's taking me anyways.
我不知道她说的什么
I don't know what she said.
但我需要再买一条运动裤了
But I'm gonna need an extra pair of sweatpants.
不 它会做所有这些 但是 我的意思是 基本上
No, it'll do all of that, but, I mean, basically,
它和你所知的一切都相近 但是它也…
it's similar to what you know, but it's also--
嘿 呆子
Hey nerds!
- 你在做什么？ - -亚当有了一个能给
- What are you doing? - Adam has a new prototype
智能手机带来革命的新的原型机
that will revolutionize the smartphone.
我们要测试一些游戏应用
We're gonna test out a few of the game apps.
我们可以看看吗？
Can we see it?
不 不 这只是个原型
No, no, it's a prototype.
我是说 这些人必须在
I mean, these guys had to sign
保密协议上签字才能看
non-disclosure agreements to see it.
我可以看看吗？
Can I see it?
别误会 我喜欢格雷格
Don't get me wrong, I love Greg,
从我四岁起他就是我最好的朋友
and he's been my best friend since I was four years old,
但是那个家伙的大屁股太显眼了
but that giant stick up his ass is so obvious,
导致他经常被误认为是一个软蛋
he's often mistaken for a fudge-icle.
嘿 白痴 把手机给我
Hey, dickhead. Give me the phone.
你不能 如果有人看到了呢
Y-you can't. What if somebody sees it?
别那么娘娘腔 屙裤货
Don't be such a pussy, Shits-his-pantsky.
好的 屙裤货 呵
Yeah, Shits-his-pantsky, heh.
说真的 如果这个被泄露了…
Seriously, if this gets leaked--
说真的 别担心 伙计们 试试吧
Seriously, don't worry about it. Guys, give it a try.
哇哦 哦 蕾丝边
Whoo-hoo. Lesbians.
好吧 我懂什么 我只是个屙裤货
All right, what do I know? I'm just Shits-his-pantsky.
玩三劈
Play threesomes.
噢
Oh.
耶
Yeah.
噢
Oh.
真棒
Nice.
- 是的 - 嗯哼
- Yeah. - Ahem.
真够成熟的
Real mature.
这就是你20年前错过的生活？
This is the life you were missing 20 years ago?
埃琳… 韦格纳女士 你在这里干什么?
Erin-- Ms. Wegner, what are you doing here?
我们接到一个匿名电话
We got an anonymous call
说我们的学生在吸大麻…
that our students were smoking marijuana...
这是药用的
It's medicinal.
- …在学校里… - 噗
- ...on school property... - Pfft.
…而且我路过的时候看到高中校园的墙上
...and now I walk by to see porn being projected
正在放映色情片
on the high school wall.
你们现在也许算是高中生
While you may be high school students,
但你们在现实生活中还是成年人
you're still adults in real life,
而且在未成年场所吸毒 看色情片
and doing drugs and watching porn at a place for children
仍然被社会大多数人所厌恶
is still generally frowned upon by most of society.
你要怎么样 艾琳 给我们留堂？
What are you gonna do, Erin, give us all detentions?
不幸的是 协议是
Well, unfortunately, protocol would be
如果罪名成立的话 我们会联络警方
to contact the police where, if convicted,
你们可能会面临严重的牢狱之灾
you could face some serious jail time.
-随你吧 缉毒警 - 关闭投影
- Whatever, NARC. - Projector, off.
我…我很抱歉
I am-- I am so sorry about that.
我能问一下你为什么要这么做吗？
Can I ask why you're doing this?
因为如果只是为了释放些青春荷尔蒙的幻想
Because if it's just to relive some teenage hormonal fantasy,
这就很可悲了
that's pretty pathetic.
我只是觉得我错过了高中时代
I-- I just feel like I missed out on high school.
亚当 你们班有多少亿万富翁？
Adam, how many of your grad class are billionaires?
一个也没有 除非你算上我 好吧 那就一个
None. Unless you count me, okay, then one.
那你和格雷格成为好朋友有多久了？
And how long have you and Greg been best friends?
一辈子
My whole life.
你每天都在做你喜欢的事
And you spend your days doing what you love,
- 我猜 是和他一起 - 是的 真神奇
- I presume, with him. - Yeah, it's amazing.
那你为什么又要这么做？
So, why are you doing this again?
我希望你这次能找到原因
Well, I hope you find it this time,
因为那些无视历史的人注定要重蹈覆辙
because those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.
这不只是一种有点蠢的上课方式
It's not just a dorky way of saying come to class.
周一见 亚当
See you Monday, Adam.
除了我之外还有没有其他人
Is it just me or does anybody else
听到了范·海伦的《爱上老师》？
hear Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" right now?
在这里吃快餐
Fast food at the point.
这感觉真的像是在高中了
Now this really does feel like high school.
可不吗
Totally.
我在说什么呢？ 我从来没来过这里
Who am I kidding? I have never been here.
- 真的吗？ - 是的
- Seriously? - Yeah.
我高中时每个周末都在这里
Oh, I was here every weekend in high school.
好吧 收起你那挑剔的小眼神
Okay, easy on the judgy eyes.
真不敢相信我和你一起来这里
I can't believe I am here with you.
你知道吗 我想我去年在电视上见过你
You know, I think I saw you on TV last year.
你在白宫吃晚餐
You were having dinner at the White House.
那可没这么酷了
That was not as cool.
你是说在这里和我一起玩
You're telling me that you think it's cooler
比和第一夫人跳华尔兹
hanging out with me here at the point
显得更酷
than waltzing with the First Lady.
你是舞会皇后
You're the prom queen.
我不认为第一夫人
I don't think the First Lady
能拥有这样的荣誉
can boast such an honor.
我甚至都没参加我们的毕业舞会
I didn't even go to our prom.
你给了非洲的一整个村庄带来了干净的水资源
You gave a whole entire village in Africa clean water.
谁在乎毕业舞会？
Who cares about prom?
在高中看起来似乎很重要的事情
Everything that seemed important in high school,
现在看来…都无关紧要了
it just-- it doesn't matter anymore.
你说得对
You're right.
但是能再次约会的感觉真的很好
But it does feel really nice to be on a date again.
我们是在约会吗？
Is that what we're doing?
嗯 是的
Well, yeah.
不是吗？
Right?
那我们现在是要出去 还是…？
So, are we, like, going out now, or...?
我猜是的
I guess.
你让天堂仿佛坠落人间
You've put the "heaven" in thirty "su-heaven."
他们在这里干什么？
What are they doing here?
嘿
Hey!
哇哦 我喜欢你的…
Wow, I love your...
你认真的？
Really?
怎么？
What?
这是来自过去的一记重拳
It's a blast from the past.
办公室
噢 不
Oh, no!
噢 不 噢 不
Oh, no! Oh, no!
好啊
Yes!
喔噢
Whoo!
你要去哪 屙裤货？
Where are you going, Shits-his-pantsky?
又拉裤子里了？
Shit your pants again?
嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey.
你要去哪？
Where are you going?
呃 酒店 处理些工作
Uh, hotel, put some work in.
你要放弃吗？
You're ditching?
嗯 是的 我今天早上收到一条短信
Well, yeah, I got a text this morning
有人泄露了你那天炫耀的
that someone leaked photos of the prototype phone
原型机的照片 所以…
that you were showing off the other day, so...
- 很严重吗？ - 我还不确定
- Is it serious? - I don't know yet.
拜托 家伙 这里有关这件事已经有
Come on, man, there's already been, like,
差不多物数的流言了
a kajillion rumors about this thing.
第一 "物数"不是一个词
A, "kajillion" isn't a word,
还有 第二 这太荒谬了
and, B, this is getting ridiculous.
- 我不干了 - 你不能放弃
- I'm done. - You can't quit.
如果你退出就拿不到钱了
You don't get the money if you quit.
你现在真的是在犯浑吗？
Are you seriously being an ass monkey right now?
你以为我在乎钱？
You think I care about the money?
好吧… 我不是那个意思 好吗？
Okay-- I didn't mean it, okay?
我保证 我会处理好我搞砸的一切
I promise, I'll take care of everything I screwed up.
你不应该帮我收拾烂摊子
You shouldn't be cleaning up my mess.
我只是…我今晚真的需要你
I just-- I really need you tonight.
你新朋友够多了
You got enough new friends.
我相信他们可以帮你做任何事
I'm sure they can help you with whatever--
不 不 不 不 我需要你 好吗？
No, no, no, no. I need you, okay?
我们被邀请参加汽车拉力赛
We've been invited to the car rally.
我们讨厌汽车拉力赛
We hate car rallies.
不 我们讨厌汽车拉力赛 是因为我们从未被邀请过
No, we hated car rallies 'cause we were never invited.
现在我们已经被邀请了 所以他们很酷
Well, we've been invited now, so they're cool.
我们很酷
We're cool.
你知道吗 你听起来像个白痴
You know, you sound like an idiot.
你可以说是这个星球上最聪明的人
You're arguably the smartest man on the planet,
而你现在说话就像个14岁的小女孩
and you're starting to talk like a 14-year-old girl.
才没有
Nuh-uh.
你知道你是我最好的朋友 对吧？
Look, you know you're my best friend, right?
好吧 没有你我做不到
Okay, I can't do this without you.
这你倒还记得 是吗？
You know that's true, right?
来吧
Come on.
嘿
Hey!
你随时都可以做我的僚机
You can be my wingman anytime.
扯淡 你可以做我的
Bullshit. You can be mine.
他会是我的僚机 对吧？
He'd be my wingman, right?
他会...是的 他会是我的僚机
He'd be-- yeah, he'd be my wingman.
- 你在干什么 伙计？ - 拉伸
- What are you doing, man? - Stretching.
是的 你也应该这么做 否则你会后悔的
Yeah, you should do it, too. You'll regret it if you don't.
你看起来像是基佬
You look gay.
伙计 你不能再开这种玩笑了
Dude, you can't make that joke anymore.
是的 这是真的 每个人
Yeah, that's true. Everyone's
现在都有点同性恋 不要忽视这点
a little gay nowadays. Don't be ignorant.
你们知道要当一个和你
Do you guys know how hard it is
年级相当的孩子的家长有多难吗？
to parent someone in the same grade as you?
你们有谁能帮我一下吗？
Can one of you guys help me with my life?
这是干嘛的？
What's this for?
- 我在试镜 - 色情片
- I'm auditioning for-- - Porn.
不是色情片 是一个戏剧
Not for porn, for a play.
我说 她没打电话 也没发邮件
I mean, she hasn't called, she hasn't e-mailed.
她甚至连短信都没发
She hasn't even texted.
你为什么这么紧张？ 你没准备好
Why are you freaking out? Aren't you ready
过一段属于自己的时光？
for a little you time?
我不知道 我只是没想到属于我的时间
I don't know. I just didn't think me time
- 会如此孤独 - 十分感谢
- would feel this lonely. - Thanks a lot.
好吧 拜托 你们能明白我的意思
Okay, come on. You know what I mean.
我觉得你需要表现得不那么孤独
I think you need to act a little less lonely.
试试吧
Try working on it.
说真的 你能不能让达茜妈妈上床睡觉
Seriously, can you put Mom Darcie to bed
把快乐的达茜叫出来一阵子吗？
and bring out fun Darcie for a little while?
- 我说 请？ - 请？
- Like, please? - Please?
非常 非常 非常 非常请？
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please?
好的 好吧 给我来罐啤酒
Okay, fine. Beer me.
- 真棒 - 真棒
- Yes. - Yes!
- 哟 哟 哟 派 - 怎么了？
- Yo, yo, yo, Pi. - Yeah?
- 你和我们在一起 对吗？ - 是的
- You're with us, yeah? - Yeah.
好的
Okay.
耶
Yeah.
大家听好了
Listen up, everyone!
你知道怎么进行
You know how this goes.
莎拉拿到名单了
Sarah's got the lists.
史蒂夫·普罗宾的父母周末不在
Steve Probyn's parents are gone for the weekend,
所以他大方地让我们用他家
so he has graciously let us use his place
来做最后的算分 还有 派对
for the final tally and party.
就像过去一样 伙计们
Just like old times, people.
听口令…
On your mark...
预备…
get set...
开始
go!
无麸质 阴道
有趣的保险杠贴纸
（标记警车得分双倍 ）
停车 别相信
汽车拉力赛——清单
你有这个 是的 你有
You've got this. Yes, you do.
你可以这样做
You can do this.
够近了
Close enough.
向一个陌生人炫耀你
嘿 史蒂夫 你知道这件不在名单上
Hey, Steve, you know that's not on the list.
噢 我知道
Oh, I know.
我想这是我爸爸的车
I think this is my dad's car.
去他妈的
Fuck him!
- 这是个坏主意 - 呃 闭嘴 格雷格
- This is a bad idea. - Ugh, shut up, Greg.
别像个小婊子一样
Don't be such a little bitch.
如果车主回来了怎么办？
What if the owner comes back?
他们不会回来的
They're not gonna come back.
我想揍我妈一顿
- 好吧 跑 格雷格 - 为什么？
- Okay, run, Greg. - Why?
噢 他们就在车里
Ooh, they're in the car!
多谢 格雷格
Thanks, Greg!
该死的 伙计
God damn, dude.
他说的没错
That's right.
性犯罪者
他的味道怎么样？
What's he taste like?
噢 她 她怎么…？
Oh, she, what does she--?
你是不是连自己的妈妈都洗劫了?
Did you just panty raid your own mom?
嘘
Shh.
你好？
Hello?
嘿 这是搞…？
Hey, what the--?
- 你的衬衫怎么了？ - 丢了
- What happened to your shirt? - Lost it.
- 怎么回事？ - 我不知道
- How? - I don't know.
嘿 你他妈不也是警察吗？
Hey! Aren't you a fuckin' cop?
把睡觉的人移到外面并且不要吵醒他们
怎么了 排长？
What's up, Platoon?
我从不知道你有多有趣
I didn't know how funny you are.
我也是 你今天晚上无与伦比
Me, too. You killed it tonight.
当我需要副驾驶的时候… 嘿
Anytime I need a copilot-- hey.
我就要这么叫你了
That's what I'm gonna call you.
副驾驶安妮卡
Anita Copilot.
可不吗
Totally.
莎拉 你算好最后得分了吗？
Sarah, do you have the final tally?
好吧 我核查了大部分活动了
Well, I have the most activities checked.
你算过我的加分了吗？
Did you count my bonus points?
- 因为你把一个未成年人的蛋蛋塞到了另一个的嘴里？ - 是的
- For teabagging a minor? - Yes.
呃？ 是吗？
Eh? Yes?
那是你在加分项里自己写的
You wrote in your own bonus points.
那不算数
That doesn't count.
- 给他吧 - 给他吧
- Give it to him! - Give it to him.
听听群众的呼声
The people have spoken.
嘿 我想敬一杯酒
Hey, I'd like to make a toast.
我也不确定这个重回高中的事
And I wasn't sure how this whole high school thing
会如何发展 但最近的几周太棒了
was gonna go, but the last few weeks have been amazing.
所以 让我们举杯
So, let's raise a glass
感谢那个让这一切成为可能的人
to the guy who made it all possible,
那个提出计划的人 学校里最酷的人
the man with a plan, the coolest guy in school.
敬亚当
To Adam.
亚当 亚当
Adam! Adam!
所以 告诉我 成为学校里
So, tell me. How does it feel
最受欢迎的男生感觉如何？
to be the most popular guy in school?
我一直觉得那很性感
I always thought that was so sexy.
妈？
Mom?
噢 我的天呐 恶
Oh, my God, ew!
你在这里做什么？
What are you doing here?
我以为你这一整个月都不当我妈了
I thought you weren't my mother for an entire month.
我可没说过
That is not what I said.
你爸知道你来这里吗？
Does your father know you're here?
天呐 你真丢人
God, you are so humiliating.
杰西卡 回来
Jessica, get back here.
随你吧 荡妇
Whatever, slut.
来点啤酒吗 杰克逊先生？
Beer, Mr. Jackson?
不 今晚叫我特雷弗
No, tonight it's Trevor.
随你吧 特雷弗
Whatever, Trevor.
嗨 肖恩 和你大哥大姐一起
Hey, Shawn, is it weird to be at a party
参加派对是不是很奇怪？
with your older brother and your older sister?
随你说
Whatever.
我打赌你们无论干什么都在一起
Yeah, bet you guys do all kinds of things together.
闭嘴 混蛋
Shut up, dick.
你不是告诉我妈你今晚
Thought you told my mom you were studying
在朋友家学习吗
at a friend's house tonight.
是的 这是我的朋友史蒂夫
I am. This is my buddy Steve,
今晚 我们在学习
and tonight, we're studying.
第一堂课—酒精与女性解剖学
First class-- alcohol and the female anatomy.
剧透警告 答案是阴道
Spoiler alert, the answer is vagina.
你在搞什么？
What are you doing?
我告诉妈妈如果我看到你就给她发短信
I told Mom I'd text her if I saw you.
那个答案是什么 “阴道”？
What was that answer again, "Vagina?"
- 阴道 - 无论你今晚看到什么
- Vagina. - Whatever you see tonight,
你都当作没看到 明白吗？
you didn't see. Get it?
如果这就是规矩的话 特雷弗
Oh, if those are the rules, Trevor,
你想要来吸一口好家伙？
you want a toke of some sweet bud?
他妈的当然
Abso-fuckin'-lutely.
喔 让我们嗨起来吧 混蛋们
Whoo, let's tear it up, fuckers!
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey. - Hey.
我是不是伸舌头伸得太狠了？
Did I use too much tongue?
不 天呐 你… 你还好
No, gosh, you were-- you were fine.
我是说 你… 你很棒
I mean, you were-- you were great.
我能坐吗？
May I?
你还好吗？
You all right?
是的 我没事
Yeah, I'm fine.
谢谢你所做的一切
Thank you for all of this.
是啊 你看起来好像一辈子没这么开心过
Yeah, you look like you're having the time of your life.
不 我是认真的 谢谢你
No, I mean it. Thank you.
在过去的20年里 我一直在回想这些日子
I've spent the last 20 years looking back at these days
一直觉得它们是多么的神奇
and just remembering how amazing they were.
直觉告诉我现在你脸上流出的
Something tells me those aren't tears of joy
不是喜悦的泪水
coming out of your face right now.
是啊 我刚被我十几岁的女儿
Yeah, well, I did just get reamed out
在聚会上骂了一顿
by my teenage daughter at a house party
因为我表现得太放荡
for acting like a slut.
- 哎哟 - 是吗？
- Ouch. - Right?
不过 她的确有理
She does have a point, though.
我最近只顾自己太多了
I have been super self-absorbed lately.
我觉得你很酷
I think you're cool.
我的意思是 你懂的 对吧？
I mean, you know that, right?
我一直觉得你很酷
I'm always gonna think you're cool.
对
Duh.
嘿 我知道你和我有可能
Hey, I know that you and I have maybe
已经开始了一些事情
sorta started something here,
但我真的觉得我得退出了
but I really think I've gotta pull back
并且要多关注一下我的女儿
and focus more on my daughter.
毕竟 她现在读高中毕业班了
After all, it is her last year of high school,
你我都知道这并不容易
and you and I both know that isn't always easy.
是的 嗯…
Yeah, uh...
谢谢你让一个书呆子能和学校里最酷的女孩约会
Thanks for letting a nerd date the coolest girl in school.
谢谢你让一个单身母亲
Thanks for letting a single mom
和著名的亿万富翁约会
date a famous billionaire.
数三下然后分手？
Break up on three?
一 二 三
One, two, three.
我知道在高中和你的前任做朋友
I know it's not always cool in high school
你知道 并不总是件很酷的事…
to be, you know, friends with your ex...
我真的很高兴我们彼此了解了对方
I'm really glad we got to know each other.
谢谢
Thanks.
好了 如果我想成为一个更好的榜样
Okay, if I'm gonna focus on being a better role model,
我们可能该离开卧室了
we should probably get out of the bedroom.
大家都知道 在高中派对上
Everyone knows, at high school parties,
只有在想上床的时候才会去卧室
you only go to the bedroom if you're trying to get laid.
我们要做爱吗？
Were we gonna have sex?
我不…
I don't--
- 杰西卡 - 噢天呐
- Jessica! - Oh, my God.
这是谁 我以为你在和特伦特约会
Who is this? I thought you were dating Trent.
这是肖恩 我的朋友
This is Shawn, my friend.
不像你 我觉得没有必要
Unlike you, I don't feel the need
和高中的每个男生都亲热
to make out with every guy in high school.
我一直以为这是当男朋友的料
I always thought this was boyfriend material.
你的“朋友”？
Your "friend"?
这就是你偷偷溜进空卧室的原因吗？
Is that why you're sneaking into an empty bedroom?
你要在这里干什么？
What were you gonna do in here?
我要做什么？ 你在做什么？
What am I doing? What are you doing?
你们在做爱吗？
Are you guys having sex?
- 恶 没有 - 要是我 就不会说“恶”
- Ew, no. - I'm not sure I'd use "ew."
你们在做爱吗？
Are you having sex?
你们俩来这儿是干这个的吗？
Is that why you two came in here?
你打算就这样失去你的贞操吗？
Is this how you're planning on losing your virginity?
等等 你还是处女？ 天哪
Wait, you're still a virgin? Sweet!
你们俩显然有很多事要谈 所以…
You two clearly have a lot of shit to talk about, so...
是的 我觉得他是对的
Yeah, I think he's right.
不是说贞操的事 只是…
Not about the virginity thing, just...
…很明显 你们显然需要解决一下彼此间存在的问题
...you guys clearly have to figure out this between you.
我喜欢老师的鸡巴
规则清楚了吗？
We all know the rules?
- 噢 看那个 - 不
- Oh, look at that. - No.
还有… 还有 噢
And-- and, oh.
它想指那边
It wants to go there.
你们玩得开心吗？
Are you guys having a good time?
为什么我们高中没喝醉过？
Why didn't we ever get drunk in high school?
这真是太棒了
This is awesome.
我把衬衫落在车里了
I lost my shirt in the car.
没关系 我说？
Never mind, you know what?
我去拿你的衬衫 好吗？
I'm gonna get you your shirt, okay?
亲爱的
Sweet.
嘿… 嘿
Hey-- hey.
嘿 你们在这里干什么？
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
史蒂夫邀请的我们
Steve invited us.
史蒂夫 你邀请老师们了吗？
Steve, did you invite the teachers?
什么？
What?
- 我们该走了 - 不 不 不 不 不
- We should go. - No, no, no, no, no.
我很高兴你们来了
I am glad you guys are here.
嗯 我给你们拿点喝的
Uh, let me get you guys a drink.
艾琳 你来了
Erin, you made it!
史蒂夫 艾琳是我们的老师之一
Steve, Erin is one of our teachers.
滚蛋 什么鬼？
Fuck off, what?
没门 我会记得你的
There is no way. I would've remembered you.
那时候你 差不多 才七岁吧？
What were you, like, seven years old?
然后呢？ 你看看她现在
What? Look at her.
听着 我答应给女士苏打水 好吗
Look, I promised the girls a soda, okay?
回头见
I'll see you around.
嘿 嘿
Hey. Hey.
你们来了
You're here.
不 这他妈的是什么？
No. What the fuck is this?
- 嗯？ - 你喜欢这个
- Huh? - You love it.
- 不 我不喜欢 - 你喜欢
- No, I don't. - You love it.
- 我告诉你我不喜欢 我不喜欢 - 你喜欢
- I told you I don't. I don't. - You love it.
我…
I--
我就知道我不该来这里
I knew I shouldn't have come here.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey. - Hey.
- 我可以解释 - 放松点 我知道了 室内聚会
- I can explain. - Relax, I get it. House party.
一切都是你伟大的重来活动的一部分
All part of your big do-over.
不管怎样 进行得怎么样了？
How's it going, anyway?
嗯 很好
Uh, pretty good.
当你有足够的钱改写历史时
When you have enough money to rewrite history,
- 感觉如何？ - 你是什么意思？
- what does that look like? - What do you mean?
- 我是说 你现在很酷吗？ - 非常酷
- I mean, are you cool now? - Pretty much.
- 被邀请参加所有的派对？ - 对
- Invited to all the parties? - Yep.
- 所有人都知道你的名字？ - 是的
- And everyone knows your name? - Yeah.
有时他们甚至还会起哄 亚当 亚当 亚当
Sometimes they even chant it. Adam, Adam, Adam.
你和那些辣妹亲热了吗？
Did you make out with all the hot chicks?
我刚吻了学校里最性感的女孩
Well, I kinda just kissed the hottest girl in the school,
或者说她吻了我 我不确定
or she kissed me, I don't know.
我只是觉得很自然 我没有…
It just felt so natural I didn't--
但行不通的
That's not gonna work
因为 嗯 我们想要的东西不同
'cause, um, we just want different things.
我们还是做朋友比较好
We're better off as friends.
我不明白你为什么如此努力
I don't understand why you're trying so hard
不去做你自己
not to be yourself.
一个书呆子？ 你觉得当书呆子很酷吗？
A nerd? You think it's cool to be a nerd?
我就是个书呆子
I'm a nerd.
你不可能是个书呆子
There's no way you have ever been a nerd.
为什么你只能“跑过”一个野营地 却不能“跑”过？
Why can you only "ran" through a campsite, but never "run"?
因为会经过帐篷（英文中 经过帐篷的发音与过去时态的发音相近）
Because it's past tents.
好吧 好吧 妈的 你是个书呆子
Okay, well, okay. Shit, you are a nerd.
好吧 也许是书呆子和受欢迎的人
Okay, ah, maybe nerds and popular people
这两个身份不该共存
just aren't supposed to be together.
也许她只是不喜欢你接吻的方式
Maybe she just didn't like the way you kiss.
什么？ 不会
What? No.
电院《书呆子复仇记》
The movie Revenge of the Nerds?
书呆子是接吻高手
Nerds are great kissers.
当他戴着黑武士面具的时候
When he wears the Darth Vader mask.
- 不会吧？ - 我想我从来没看过
- What? - I don't think I've ever seen
《书呆子复仇记》
Revenge of the Nerds.
我知道达斯·维德是谁
I know who Darth Vader is.
但这并不能帮我回忆起我从未看过的电影
That doesn't help me remember a movie I've never seen.
好吧 你管自己叫书呆子
Okay, and you call yourself a nerd.
而你说自己是接吻高手
And you call yourself an incredible kisser.
我是
I am.
- 真的吗？ - 绝对是
- Really? - Absolutely.
证明这一点
Prove it.
哦 我的天 不是在我身上证明 怪咖
Oh, my God. Not on me, weirdo.
好吧 我想错了
Okay, I misread that.
没错
Yeah.
挪一下 麻烦挪一下
Move. Please move.
挪一下
Move.
- 嗯？ - 亲爱的 我们走
- Hmm? - Honey, let's go.
该走了 走吧 我们回家吧
It's time to go, come on. Let's go home.
我们走吧 现在起床
Let's go. Get up now.
喔 喔 喔 喔 冷静一下
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Settle down.
这里怎么回事？
What's happening here?
- 别多管闲事 - 放松点
- Mind your own business. - Easy, now.
我说了别多管闲 哇
I said mind your own busi-- whoa!
打架 打架 打架
Fight! Fight! Fight!
- 放松点 - 停下来
- Relax! - Stop it!
让一让 让一让
Move, move!
- 噢 好啊 - 噢
- Oh, yes. - Ooh.
噢 天呐
Oh, my God.
老兄 那是你的哥哥姐姐吗？
Dude, is that your brother and sister?
真恶心 恶
That is disgusting. Ew.
- 噢 天呐 - 喔 喔 喔 喔
- Oh, God. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 肖恩 等等 - 这什么鬼？
- Shawn, wait. - What the hell?
音乐怎么回事 婊子们？
What happened to the music, bitches?
你去哪儿了？ 你错过了一个很棒的派对
Where have you been? You're missing one hell of a party.
你在跟我开玩笑吧？
Are you kidding me right now?
你一直都在这里 参加派对？
You've been here the whole time, partying?
你没有 哪怕一秒钟 停下来想一想
You didn't, for one second, just stop to think,
“格雷格在哪里？ 我想知道格雷格在哪儿”
"Where's Greg? I wonder where Greg might be."
一秒钟也没有？ 你根本就没那么想过？
Not for one second? You didn't think that at all?
你干嘛这么混蛋？
Why are you being such a dick?
嗷
Ow.
打他 打他 打他 打他
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
屙裤货又回来了
The return of Shits-his-pantsky.
- 真恶心 - 呃
- That's so gross. - Ew.
噢 天呐
Oh, my God.
派这个混蛋
Fuckin' Pi.
我们以前是多好的一对
It's a nice lineup we got back here.
- 你在学校过得怎么样？ - 你想亲热吗？
- How are you enjoying school? - You wanna make out?
我真的很喜欢
I'm actually really enjoying it.
我觉得这次挺有意思的
I'm finding it interesting this time around.
我觉得你这次挺有意思的
I'm finding you interesting this time around.
我的名字是什么？
What's my first name?
违规停车罚单
Parking Ticket.
因为你全身上下写满了罚金
'Cause you got fine written all over you.
你喝醉了 我不会同意的 抱歉
You're drunk. It's not gonna happen, sorry.
这是你的损失 像你这样的女孩多得很
Your loss. Girls like you are a dime a dozen.
你知道 她们会假装得盛装出席
You know, they'll pretend like you got all dressed up
来到这里 很机智的样子 谈论些中东政治
to come here, be witty, and talk about Middle East politics.
发给 妈妈 这就是特莱弗在学习
我们要做爱吗？
Are we gonna fuck or what?
你没生气吧？ 嗯？
You're not mad, are ya?
混蛋
Shit.
他妈的 妈的—走开
Fuck. Fuck, mother-- go away.
草泥马 该死的白痴
Motherfucker. Fucking idiot.
- 操 - 格雷格 是我 让我进来
- Fuck! - Greg, it's me. Let me in.
我说了 滚开
I said go away!
直接进去就好了
Just walk in.
我13岁的时候 我的父母就把锁取掉了
My parents took the locks off when I was 13.
我手枪打得太多了
I was jerking off too much.
他们以为这能阻止我
They thought it'd stop me.
然而并不能
It didn't.
我嘞个靠
Holy shit!
鸡巴真漂亮 我靠
Nice wiener. Holy shit!
你裤子里是有屎吗？
Is that shit in your pants?
操 普洛宾 滚出去
Fuck, Probyn, get the fuck out!
亚当干过这个吗？
Did Adam do this?
滚出去
Get out!
他说他还需要一分钟
He said he's gonna need a minute.
- 格雷格 - 听着 让我走
- Greg. - Look, let me go.
你要去哪 该死的屙裤货？
Where are you going, Shit's-his-pansky?
我知道你今晚过得很糟糕 好吗？
I know you've had a rough night, okay?
我很抱歉
And I'm sorry.
你让我拉在了裤子里
You made me shit my pants.
我怎么能让你拉到裤子里？
How could I make you shit your pants?
你知道吗？ 没关系 我是说…
You know what? It doesn't matter, I mean...
今晚真他妈的 甚至不止是今晚
Fuck tonight. It's not even about tonight.
整个高中重新来过 真是狗屎
This whole high school do-over, it's been shit.
其中一部分很酷
Some of it's been cool.
不 一点都不酷
No, it hasn't been cool.
你一点都不酷 你永远也不会变酷
You're not cool. You'll never be cool.
这是个笑话 你是个笑话
It's a joke. You're a joke.
嘿 我想我们既然在开派对
Hey, I thought we were having a party.
谁想点些自制的烟花？
Who wants to light off some homemade fireworks?
- 操 - 快跑
- Fuck! - Clear out!
谁能告诉我为什么那些孩子们没有被逮捕？
Will someone tell me why those kids weren't arrested?
因为他们是孩子 我们是成年人 笨蛋
Because they're kids and we're adults, dumbass.
嗯 从法律上说 我们这个月17岁
Uh, legally, we're 17 this month.
你知道我们只是在重新过17岁的生活 对吧？
You know that we're just reliving 17, right?
我们实际上没有回到17岁
We didn't actually turn 17.
不要互相指责 这是他的错
Don't blame each other. It's his fault.
是的 我的生活本来很好 直到你搞了这花活
Yeah, my life was going fine until you pulled this stunt.
一个月你就给我们一年的工资
You offered us one year's salary for one month.
我们当然答应了 我们是来赚钱的
Of course we said yes. We're here for the money.
别这样 伙计们 我们玩得很开心
Come on, you guys. We've been having a good time.
这是我们重新让高中精彩起来的机会
This is our chance to make high school awesome.
你是唯一一个需要重新来过的人
You're the only one that needed a do-over.
对我们其他人来说 高中生活已经他妈的太棒了
For the rest of us, high school was pretty fucking awesome.
派对 做爱 荒废人生
Partying, fucking, and getting wasted.
你是唯一一个不得不花钱
You're the only one that had to buy
去体验酷的高中生活的人
a cool high school experience.
我管这叫失败
I call fail.
书呆子
Nerd.
真是一坨屎
What a piece of shit.
我们还是要投票选出毕业演讲者 对吧？
We're still gonna vote on valedictorian, though, right?
好了 白痴们 我们走 我们走
All right, dick heads, let's go, let's go.
嘿
Hey.
你把手机落在家里了
You left your phone at home.
一个叫达茜的人给你发了信息
Someone named Darcie messaged you.
她说：“别问了 不可能的”
She said, "Stop asking, it's not going to happen."
但克莱尔说她得了唐氏综合症
But Claire said that she's "down syndrome."
我想这是自动更正（唐氏综合征和去楼下的26键拼法相似）
I assume that's an autocorrect.
顺便说一下 我给泰勒松绑了
I untied Tyler, by the way.
我发现他在后院哭个不停
I found him crying in the back yard.
操
Shit.
我就知道我们忘了什么事
I knew we forgot something.
那是个玩笑
It was a joke.
我本打算晚些时候给他松绑的
I was gonna untie him later.
但是你没有
But you didn't.
我还收到了丹的视频
I also received a video from Dan
真是大开眼界
that was very eye-opening.
你的其他东西都在前院
The rest of your stuff is in the front yard.
等…等等 什么视频？
W-wait. What video?
感谢你的时间 典狱长
Thanks for the time, Warden.
我们对你很失望
We are disappointed in you.
爸 妈 我可以解释
Dad, Mom, I can explain.
你被禁足了
You are grounded.
但是我明天要上学
But I have school tomorrow.
不 不 不 你再也不要去上学了
No, no, no. No more school for you.
- 什么？ - 上车
- What? - Get in the car.
嗷
Ow!
你们知道 等我搬出去你们会后悔的
You know, you'll be sorry when I move out!
那天晚上的事情我很抱歉
I am sorry about the other night.
让我们假装它没有发生
Let's pretend it didn't happen.
我是你的老师 我们不该那样
I'm your teacher. We shouldn't.
还有其他人来过吗？
Did anybody else even show up?
据我所知 只有你 和莎拉
As far as I know, just you. And Sarah.
她在帮助另一位老师以获得额外学分
She's helping another teacher for extra credit.
好吧 合同上说他们必须完成
Fine, contract says they have to finish
不然他们拿不到钱
or they don't get paid.
我不确定学生到底能不能拿到钱
I'm not sure any student was getting paid anyway.
你看合同了吗？
Did you read the contract?
莎拉起草的 她说很简单
Sarah drew it up. She said it was really simple.
所以 你没看
So, no.
上面说他们现在的成绩会取代
It states that the grades they get now replace
他们原来的成绩
the grades they had.
几乎没有人做了足以达到及格的功课
Hardly anyone did enough work to pass,
这意味着 第一 他们没有工资
and that means, A, they don't get paid,
第二 严格来说 他们当中很多人
and, B, technically speaking, many of them
没有-划掉-无法从高中毕业
didn't-slash-won't graduate high school.
那是不可能的 这怎么可能合法呢？
That's not possible. How is that even legal?
你的律师们起草了一份糟糕透顶的合同
Your lawyers drew up one hell of a contract.
我的律师们…我的律师们没有起草合同
My lawyers-- my lawyers didn't draw up the contract.
萨拉在教育委员会工作
Sarah works for the Board of Education.
等等 不 不 不 不 不 她成绩怎么样？
Wait, no, no, no, no, no. How did she do?
- 所有的都是A - 那是当然了
- All As. - Of course she did.
你要更改每个人的成绩
You gotta change everybody's grades.
- 让每个人都得A - 我不会那么做的
- Everybody gets As. - I'm not doing that.
一个D？ 我得到的是D？
A D? I got a D?
你提交了一篇基于电影《回到未来》
You submitted an essay based on temporal paradoxes
中的时间悖论和叙事漏洞的文章
and inaccuracies in the movie Back to the Future.
你要求写一篇关于历史修正主义的500字的文章
You asked for 500 words on historical revisionism.
那部经典的三部曲集中反映了一些历史上的缺点--
That classic trilogy epitomizes the flaws in histor--
我不喜欢你的语气
I don't think I like your tone.
你要求写一篇关于历史修正主义的500字的文章
You asked for 500 words on historical revisionism.
这个话题到此为止
I think we're done here.
你要的是正宗的 高中的体验
You asked for an authentic. high school experience,
我不希望有哪里不到位
and I would hate for that to go sideways on you.
- 艾琳 - 叫我瓦格纳女士 谢谢
- Erin. - Ms. Wagner, thank you.
请坐好可以吗？
Would you please take a seat?
- 瓦格纳女士？ - 我说了坐好
- Ms. Wagner? - I said take a seat.
瓦格纳女士？
Ms. Wagner?
韦恩·佩恩
Wayne Payne.
他是忠诚的朋友 孝顺的儿子…
Friend, son...
敬业的老师
teacher.
韦恩 在他最后的遗嘱里
Wayne, in his final will and testament
要求宣读以下内容
asked that the following be recited.
这是引圣雄甘地的话
It's a quote from the Mahatma Gandhi.
“要把今天当做最后一天活到极致
"Live as if you will die tomorrow.
要把学习当做永生的事业永不止歇”
Learn as if you will live forever."
我说是派的错
I blame Pi.
佩恩先生已经老到不该被这件
Mr. Payne was an old dude who should never have been
重过高中的破事而从退休生活中被拉过来
dragged out of retirement for this high school thing.
你听说我们都丢了文凭的事了吗
Did you hear about us all losing our diplomas?
你说什么？
What did you say?
我们不仅拿不到钱
Not only are we all not getting paid,
而且这个新的成绩还要代替了我们以前的成绩
this new grade replaces our old grade.
我们要丢文凭是什么鬼事？
What's this shit about us losing our diplomas?
合同里写了
It's in the contract.
我们的新成绩代替以前的成绩
Our new grades replace our old grades
永久记录在案
on the permanent record.
是的 但成绩记录是永久的
Yeah, but the records are permanent.
你怎么改的永久记录？
How do you change permanent records?
没有高三的文凭 我不能当警察
I can't be a cop without a 12th grade diploma.
怎么回事？
What happens there?
我看起来像什么 维基百科吗？
What do I look like, Wikipedia?
- 维基…什么？ - 约翰 对不起
- Wika-what? - John, I am so sorry.
丹尼斯？ 安迪？
Dennis? Andy?
格雷格？
Greg?
拜托 你们知道我所做的一切
Come on, you guys know everything I have done
都是出于好意
has been with good intentions.
怎么 现在没有人跟我说话了？
What, now, nobody's talking to me?
是莎拉摆我们一道的
Sarah's the one who screwed us over.
- 她可能是给枪上膛的那个 - 却是你扣动的扳机
- She may have loaded the gun. - You pulled the trigger.
嘿 你没事吧 伙计？
Hey! You all right, buddy?
嘿 没事的 伙计
Hey, it's all good, buddy.
踢我
听着 我想说的是
Look, what I'm saying is
比弗并不能回到未来 好吗？
is Biff can't go back to the future, okay?
因为他只是回到了过去
Because he just went to the past
给了他自己一本体育年鉴
and he gave himself a sports almanac.
所以现在是一个不同的时间轴
So it's a different timeline now.
这就是我要说的
That's all I'm saying.
但你知道真正的谎言是什么吗？
But you know what the real lie is?
真正的谎言是你可以改变你的历史 知道吗?
The real lie is that you can change your history, okay?
你的过去是由一系列的伤疤
Your past is a series of scars and ulcer-inducing moments
和纠结难安的时刻组成的 并且将困扰你的余生
that are gonna haunt you for the rest of your lives.
你知道你们现在是什么样子的吗？ 是真正的失败者
You know how you guys are, like, real losers right now?
永远都会是这样 就是这样
That's how it is forever. That's it.
看看这个人 没有人喜欢他 是吗？
Look at this guy. Nobody likes him, do they?
当然不会 看着他
Of course they don't. Look at him.
谁会喜欢呢？
Who could like that?
将来也没有人会喜欢你
Nobody likes you in the future, either.
而且他们更不喜欢你
And they like you even less.
是的 看看你
Yeah. Look at you.
你显然一个朋友都没有
You clearly have zero friends.
你知道更有趣的是什么吗——你将来的朋友会更少
You know what's interest-- you'll have less in the future.
比零还少
Less than zero.
给格雷格：抱歉让你拉在裤子里
伙计们 我不是说你们不会成功
Guys, I'm not saying you're not gonna be successful.
好吗？我只是说如果你现在是书呆子
Okay? I'm just saying if you're nerds now,
你永远都是书呆子
you're gonna be nerds forever.
所以 祝你好运 希望每个人都爱你
So, good luck getting anybody to ever love you,
更别说喜欢你了
let alone like you.
已读
你会孤独终老的
You're gonna die alone.
- 你再做什么？ - 乱做
- What you makin'? - A mess.
我觉得你的反应过度了
I think you're overreacting.
不 我这次真的把事情搞砸了
No, I've really screwed things up this time.
- 我说的是烧杯 - 啊
- I meant the beaker. - Ah!
高中很糟糕
High school sucks.
一切都结束了 为什么要回去？
It's over and done. Why go back?
因为那时我什么都不知道
'Cause I didn't know anything back then.
现在你知道了
And now you do.
你意识到发生在你身上过的每一件事
You realize that everything that's ever happened to you
都造就了今天的你 你明白了吧？
has made you who you are today. You get that, right?
你今天的生活很精彩 不是吗？
And your life today is pretty amazing, no?
不是这个今天
Not today-today.
我说 发生在你身上的一切
So, everything that's ever happened to you,
不论好坏 都造就了今天的你
good or bad, has made you who you are.
所以你是说每次
So you're saying that every time
我被扔出栅栏
I was thrown through a fence,
屁股塞烟花 或者被点燃
atomic wedgied, or lit on fire,
都对我成为什么样的人产生了积极的影响？
that had a positive effect on who I became?
是的 那些事情听起来很糟糕
Yeah, those things sound pretty awful,
有些甚至是违法的
some even punishable by law.
但你活了下来 它们帮助塑造了你的性格
But you survived, and they helped shape your character.
我恰好觉得性格是一个人
And I happen to think that character's
身上很有吸引力的地方
a pretty attractive quality in a person.
你是说你觉得我很有魅力？
So what you're saying is you think I'm attractive?
- 我可没那么说 - 不 你就是
- I did not say that. - No, that's exactly
- 这么说的 - 我是你的老师
- what you said. - I'm your teacher.
好吧 那你最好别亲我
Okay, well, then, you probably shouldn't kiss me.
我不会的
Well, I'm not going to.
行吧 那 我就不亲你了
Well, then, I'm not gonna kiss you.
- 很好 - 很好
- Great. - Good.
你想去毕业舞会吗？
Do you want to go to prom?
不行 我是舞会的伴护
I can't, I'm chaperoning.
我们真的会不及格吗？
Are we all really gonna fail?
每个人都放弃了 所以他们得零分
Everyone quit, so they get a zero.
除非他们通过期末考试
Unless they take the final exam and pass.
它占最终成绩的70%
It's worth 70% of the final grade.
每个人都像高中时那样恨我
Everybody hates me like they did back in high school.
我怎么才能让他们参加期末考试呢？
How am I gonna get them to come to finals?
他们是否恨你并不重要
It doesn't matter if they hate you or not.
做你自己就好
Just be yourself.
我是一个书呆子 我是做手机的
I'm a nerd. I make phones.
这就是我 我只知道这些
That's who I am. That's all I know.
有人吗？ 比勒？（电影《春天不是读书天》的男主）
Anyone? Bueller?
贝蒂 打开高中重来活动的合同
Betty, open the contract on the high school do-over.
正在打开 重来活动合同
Opening the do-over contract.
我觉得我搞定了
I think I got this.
派科技
所以 严格上来讲 合同中有没有
So, technically speaking, does the contract
规定在测试期间
say anything about not being able
不能使用手持设备？
to use handheld devices during the test?
合同上没说 但那不是作弊吗？
It doesn't, but wouldn't that be cheating?
合同里没有就不算作弊
It's not cheating if it's not in the contract.
经确认 合同中
Confirmed, smartphones are not
没有说到智能手机
in the contract.
谢谢你 贝蒂 你最棒了
Thank you, Betty. You're the best.
不 亚当 你才是最棒的
No, Adam, you're the best.
怎么了？ “创新是
What? "Innovation is the difference
领导者和跟随者间的区别” 史蒂夫·乔布斯说的
between being a leader and a follower." Steve Jobs.
我在创新呢
I'm being innovative.
少做评判
Less judgy eyes.
你让我拉在裤子里
You made me shit my pants.
我知道
I know.
我拉在裤子里 因为 你
My pants, shit, you.
我不是故意要打你那么狠的
I didn't mean to hit you so hard.
我只是因为他们俩才来的
I'm only here 'cause of these two.
我能接受
I'll take it.
我的短信说我们在你们公司获得了很棒的研发工作
My text said we also get awesome new R&D jobs at your company,
但前提是格雷格回来 对吧？
but only if Greg comes back, yes?
如果格雷格不回来呢？
And if Greg doesn't come back?
你没有这么卑鄙吧 对吧
You know you're better than this, right?
我有
I'm not.
你比任何人都清楚
You know that better than anyone.
你知道吗 你简直是个十足的混蛋
You know, you've been an absolute dick,
而且还欠我一个大人情
and you owe me big time.
我知道
I know.
嘘
Shh.
这是公司惯例
Is this, like, a company thing,
还是说只是今天一天？
or just like a one-off?
我们应该以一个热烈的拥抱开始每一天
We should start every day with a hug fest.
嗯
Mm.
我们如何确保
How are we gonna make sure
每个人的信息都是正确的
everyone has all the right info,
所有人都正确地访问对的软件？
all the right access to all the right software?
如果每个人都戴着耳机
What if everybody wore earpieces
而我去告诉他们答案呢？
and I just fed them the answers?
不 那肯定属于作弊
No, that would definitely fall under cheating,
合同对此有明确规定
and the contract is very explicit about that.
也许我们应该找一些裸体女孩来看着我们思考
Maybe we should get some naked girls to watch us think.
也不摸 就看着思考
No touching, just watch us think.
让创造力活起来
Get the creative juices flowing.
对不起 伙计们 那是高中时的幻想
Sorry, guys. That was a high school fantasy.
我们已经做过了
We've already done it.
是时候开始新的梦想 新的幻想了
Time for new dreams, new fantasies.
也许你的新手机原型可以想出一些点子
Maybe your new phone prototype can come up with some ideas.
不
No.
就用它
That's it.
你将失去数百万 数亿
You'll lose millions. Hundreds of millions.
那太棒了
It's perfect.
这是给你的 是毒品吗？
This came for you! Is it drugs?
毒品不是这样来的
Drugs don't even come like that.
- 你怎么… - 你是怎么知道
- Do you-- - How do you know
毒品是怎么来的？
how drugs come?
《绝命毒师》
Breaking Bad!
操你妈 操你妈
Fuck you! Fuck you!
你他妈会死的
You're gonna fuckin' die.
我等不及了 我等不及了
I can't wait. I can't wait.
来吧 你来试试
Bring it on. Try your fuckin' best!
你竟然敢？
How dare you?!
嗷 去他妈的
Aw, fuck it.
我以为最大的错误 是我在高中的时候犯下的
I thought the biggest mistakes I made were in high school.
我不会再去尝试纠正错误的
I won't try to undo the mistakes
正如我最近几周做的那样
I've made in recent weeks,
你们也都知道 结果如何
as we all know how that turns out.
相反 我会给你们一个承诺
Instead, I will offer you no more than a promise
从我的错误中吸取教训
to learn from my mistakes.
这是我最新款的手机
That and this fully pimped out phone.
哇哦 什么？
Whoa, what?
它要到圣诞节才会正式发布
It won't be officially released until Christmas,
但是我想把它作为一个特别礼物送给你们
but I wanted to give it to you as a special thank you
谢谢你们尝试帮我实现一个愚蠢的幻想
for trying to help me fulfill a stupid fantasy.
它已经加载了我们
It's been loaded with the entire curriculum
高三项目的全部课程
of our 12th grade program,
而且这在此次测试中是允许使用的
and is permissible to use in this test.
我知道你们很多人都不想见我
I know that many of you don't want to see me
或者再次回到你以前的学校
or your old school ever again,
但如果你想保持你的成绩
but if you want to keep your grades,
或者更重要的 你的文凭
or more importantly, your diplomas,
这个手机应该可以帮到你
this phone should help.
愿这个手机与你同在
May this phone be with you.
妈的 这他妈的什么鬼？
Fuck! What the fuck?
妈 爸
Mom! Dad!
到目前为止 只有三个人登录了他们的手机
Only three people have logged into their phones so far.
期末考试就在明天
Final exams are tomorrow.
难道没有人想要文凭吗？
Doesn't anybody want their diploma?
我以为在这么卑躬屈膝的情况下
I thought with all this groveling,
我们能赢回所有人的心
we'd get everybody back.
事实证明 我所做的只是
Turns out, all I've done is probably release the software
提前一个月将软件发布给竞争对手
to the competition a month early.
是的 好吧 别怪我
Yeah, well, don't blame me.
这是你的错 你知道的
That's on you, and you know it.
你是对的 你是对的
You're right. You're right.
我已经走上了我们主张的一切
I've gone against everything we stand for,
我们为之努力的一切的对立面
everything we've worked hard for.
我们公司的理念 等等一切
Our company philosophy, everything.
我背叛了所有人
I turned my back on everyone,
只是为了给一群
just to impress a bunch of people
20年没见的人留下深刻印象
we haven't seen in 20 years.
我简直可悲
I'm totally pathetic.
我该怎么做？
What should I do?
拜托 格雷格 我该怎么办？
Come on, Greg, what should I do?
噢 你… 你想听听我的建议吗？
Oh, you-- you want my advice?
是的 格雷格 我该怎么做？
Yeah, Greg, what should I do?
好吧 你需要我的建议？
Well, you need my advice?
格雷格 别让我求你 好吗？
Greg, don't make me beg, okay?
为什么不呢？
Why not?
好吧 我求你了 好了吗？
Okay, I'm begging, okay?
你能告诉我该怎么做吗？ 求你了
Can you just tell me what to do, please?
好
Okay.
也许他们只是需要一个受欢迎的人
Maybe they just need someone popular
来帮助他们朝正确的方向前进
to help nudge them in the right direction.
你和我想的一样吗？
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
这取决于你怎么看我所说的
Depends what you think I'm saying.
我喜欢他这样
I love it when he gets like this.
正如我们讨论过的 我们假借
As discussed, we lured him to the bar
达茜发来的电话留言把他引到酒吧
with a fake booty call text from Darcie.
- 然后我们给他的啤酒加了迷药 - 要花多长时间？
- Then we roofied his beer. - How long is this gonna take?
我们得在我妈回来之前把他弄出去
We gotta get him out of here before my mom comes home.
这不是问题
Not a problem.
伙计们 也许我们不该这么做
Guys, maybe we shouldn't do this.
是的 你可能说得对
Yeah, you're probably right.
- 格雷格 - 去他妈的
- Greg! - Fuck it!
在恐吓了我们一辈子之后
After a lifetime of terrorizing us,
这是他活该 甚至不止于此
he deserves this, and a lot more.
我给了他三倍剂量的强效泻药
Hey, I gave him a triple dose of an extra strength laxative.
你得快点 因为他随时都可能
You'll want to be quick, 'cause he should shit himself
拉出来
any moment now.
完事了
Done!
刚好赶上
Just in time.
我会把这些照片的复印件发给他
I'll message him copies of every one of these photos.
告诉他如果明天的考试哪怕有一个人没来
Tell him you'll send one to the entire class
你就会把这张照片班里每个人一人发一张
if even one person doesn't show to that exam tomorrow.
伙计们 我们真的要如此卑鄙吗？
Guys, shouldn't we be better than this?
当然了
Absolutely.
我们要下地狱了
We're going to hell.
妈的
Fuck!
派
Pi!
考试可能会占用你整整四个小时
The test will likely take you the full four hours,
但如果你提前做完了 请你举手
but if you finish early, please put your hand up
然后我会来收你们的卷子
and I will collect your papers.
加载中…
错误
操你妈
可以了 放下铅笔
And, pencils down.
莎拉 时间到了
Sarah, it's time.
莎拉
Sarah.
时间到了
It's time.
嘿 格雷格去哪儿了？
Hey, where's Greg?
他说他有事要做 马上就回来
He says he's got something to do and he'll be right back.
我猜就这样了 嗯？
I guess that's that, huh?
那么 大家都能毕业了？
So, everyone's gonna graduate?
还有一个好成绩？
With better grades?
亚当
Adam!
好吧 并不是所有人
Well, almost everyone.
你确定要卖这些手机吗？
Are you sure about these phones?
我发誓 每一秒的答案都显示错误
I swear, every second answer was wrong.
噢天呐 这最好别影响我的最终成绩
Oh, God, this better not affect my finals.
好了 静一静 莎拉 只是高中而已
Okay, calm down, Sarah. It's just high school.
“只是高中”？
"Just high school"?
你这么说真好笑
That's funny coming from you.
如果这东西坏了 我就得重新来过
If this thing doesn't work, then I get a do-over.
相信我 重新来过是行不通的
Trust me, do-overs do not work.
不要挡着我的路
Get out of my way!
派
Pi!
你知道怎么在这些东西上查电话号码吗？
You know how to trace a number on one of these things?
有人黑了我的电话
Somebody hacked my phone.
这个手机还没有发布 市场上都没有
The phone's unlisted. It's not even on the market yet.
谢了
Thanks.
你今天真的救了我们一命
You really saved our asses in there today.
- 不要谢我 谢格雷格 - 酷伙？
- Don't thank me, thank Greg. - Shipansky?
你是说屙裤货吗？
Don't you mean Shits-his-pantsky?
不 闭嘴
No, zip it.
酷伙
Shipansky.
拉裤子一点也不好笑
Not funny when you shit your pants.
对不起 伙计们
Sorry, guys.
真是糟透了
This sucks!
就像20年前一样
It's just like 20 years ago.
真是浪费时间
What a waste of time.
听着 你是我们最好的朋友
Look, you're our best friend,
所以不要误会我的话
so don't take this the wrong way.
如果20年后你还在这里
If, in 20 years, you're still here,
来我家看爱国者队的比赛
coming over to my house, watching Patriots games,
做些建筑工作
doing construction work,
我会他妈的杀了你
I'm gonna fuckin' kill ya.
你他妈的在说什么？
What the fuck are you talking about?
他说的对 操你妈的
He's right. Fuck you.
你不欠自己什么 伙计 你欠我的
You don't owe it to yourself, man. You owe it to me.
因为明天我一觉醒来 我会50岁了
'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up, I'll be 50
只能还干这差事
and still be doing this shit.
你坐在一张中奖的彩票上
You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket,
而你太胆怯
and you're too much of a pussy
不敢兑现它 真是胡扯
to cash it in, and that's bullshit.
因为我愿付出一切来得到你所拥有的
'Cause I'd give fuckin' anything to have what you got.
这些人中的任何一个都会
Any of these guys would.
你这是对我们的侮辱
It'd be an insult to us
如果你20年后还在这里的话
if you're still here in 20 years.
在这儿无所事事
Hanging' around here,
这他妈的是在浪费你的时间
it's a fuckin' waste of your time.
这不是你的错
It's not your fault.
是的 我知道
Yeah, I know.
- 这不是你的错 - 我知道
- It's not your fault. - I know.
听着 小子
Listen to me, son.
这不是你的错
It's not your fault.
是的 我知道
Yeah, I know.
这不是你的错
It's not your fault.
我… 别搞我 肖恩 你不行
I-- don't fuck with me, Shawn, not you.
这不是你的错 不是你的错
It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
对不起
I'm sorry!
噢 天呐
Oh, God.
噢
Oh.
看 我多聪明
See, I am smart!
我只毕业致辞人
Valedictorian.
你喜欢苹果吗？ 你喜欢苹果吗？
You like apples? You like apples?
你喜欢这些苹果什么？
How do you like them apples?
哇哦
Whoo!
真是一坨烂狗屎
What a piece of shit.
杰西卡？ 杰西卡
Jessica? Jessica!
- 怎么了？ 你关心这个干什么？
- What is wrong? - Why do you care?
我关心这个干什么？ 我是你妈妈
Why do I care? Because I'm your mother.
我会永远关心你
I will always care.
太蠢了
It's stupid.
什么… 好吧 如果这件事很蠢
What-- well, you wouldn't be this upset
那你就不用这么糟心
if it was that stupid.
你是真的在跟你妈妈哭吗？
Are you seriously crying to your mommy?
让我一个人静静
Just leave me alone.
她为什么要这么做？
And why would she need to do that?
听着 我们只是现在对生活的追求不同
Look, we just want different things in life right now.
跟性有关吗？
Is this a sex thing?
你在开玩笑吧？ 她连手活都不肯做
Are you kidding me? I can't even get a hand job.
噢 好吧 那…
Oh, yeah, well...
妈妈 太棒了
Mom, that was awesome.
我一向擅长手活
I was always good at giving hand jobs.
是的 但你可能不应该打孩子
Yeah, you probably shouldn't hit children.
我们离开这里
Let's get out of here.
- 怎么了 女士们？ - 嘿
- What's up, ladies? - Hey.
你来参加毕业舞会吗？
Are you coming to this grad dinner prom thing?
派在买 吃的和饮料
Pi's buying. Food and drinks.
不 我要回家了
No, I'm gonna go home
然后花点时间陪我女儿
and spend some time with my daughter.
来吧 这是我们自由的能真正做自己的
Come on, it's our last day of freedom
最后一天了
to be who we truly are.
知道吗 我已经弄明白了
You know, I figured out
我真正应该是谁 我是一个母亲
who I truly am, and I am a mom.
而且我觉得这样很好
And I'm okay with that.
- 再见 女士们 - 我希望我也有一个这么酷的妈妈
- Ciao. Ladies. - Wish I had a cool mom.
谢谢
Thanks.
嘿 艾米
Oh, uh, hey, Amy.
嗯 这是给你的
Um, this is for you.
- 这是什么？ - 我给我的前夫打了个电话
- What's this? - I called my ex-husband,
他的阿姨是洛杉矶的经纪人
and his aunt is an agent in L. A.
她说她可以帮你
And she said she could help you out.
- 你是认真的吗？ - 嗯哼
- Are you serious? - Mm-hmm.
谢谢你 你确定你不想来吗？
Thank you. Are you sure you don't wanna come?
是的 是的 当然
Yeah. Yeah, positive.
拜
Bye.
玩得开心
Have fun!
你得承认 尽管发生了这么多糗事
For all the shitty stuff that happened, you have to admit,
每个人还是都得到了他们想要的 不是吗？
everybody kind of got what they wanted, didn't they?
啊 得了吧 你想说什么？
Aw, come on. Are you trying to say
这一直都在你的计划之内？
that this was your plan the whole time?
呸 你只是走运
Pfft, you got lucky.
当然 除了你没跟达茜上床
Except, of course, you didn't get to sleep with Darcie.
我是说 这才是你一直的计划 对吧？
I mean, that was your plan the whole time, right?
你想勾引特雷弗的女朋友
You wanted to hook up with Trevor's girl.
我不知道 我有点喜欢艾琳
I don't know, I kind of like Erin.
这个老师？ 你喜欢上了老师？
The teacher? You're in love with teacher?
怎么 你五岁吗？
What, are you five?
我不知道 我只是觉得她挺酷的
I don't know, I just think she's kinda cool.
低年级
所以 你不想和达茜上床？
So, you don't want to sleep with Darcie?
一点也不想？
Like, not at all?
达茜和我还是做朋友比较好
Darcie and I are better just as friends.
她的确很酷
She's actually really cool.
好吧 不… 不是达茜 但是如果你想
Well, it-- it's not Darcie, but if you want to cross
把搞特雷弗的女朋友从你的列表上划掉
the "Screw Trevor's Girl" off your list,
我给你这个
I'll give you this.
我在和一个能让我满足的人做爱
I'm having sex with someone who satisfies me.
哦 不 那真是 太可怕了
Oh, no, that is-- that is awful.
嗨 特雷弗 我是学校的格雷格
Hi, Trevor. It's Greg from school.
好吧 这样不对
Okay, that's not right.
不 别这样 不
No, come on, nah, that's a move
这是《爱经》里的一个动作
right out of the "Kama Sutra."
我玩得很开心 特雷弗
I'm having a lot of fun, Trevor.
太棒了 特雷弗
This is so good, Trevor.
- 噢 这个尺寸… - 好吧 那不是…
- Oh, the size... - Okay, that's not--
你在做什么？
What are you doing?
真不敢相信我居然能忍受你的小弟弟
I can't believe I ever put up with your small penis.
我只是略高于平均水平
I'm just slightly above average.
它太大了
It's so big,
- 即使在他最糟糕的一天… - 我很高兴这整件
- even on his worst day... - I'm just glad this whole
- …他也比你强100倍 - …高中时代的事结束了
- ...he's 100 times better. - ...high school thing is over.
听着 你一直都是对的
Look, you were right all along.
从一开始就不是个好主意
This was a bad idea from the start.
什么？ 不 不 你在说什么？
What? No, no, what are you talking about?
不 不 不 不 别听我说的
No, no, no, no. Don't listen to me.
我是一个白痴
I'm an idiot.
看 你看这个视频了吗？
Look, did you see this video?
- 是的 好了 - 不 来吧
- Yeah, okay. - No, come on,
我们明年还得再来一次
we gotta do this again next year.
你知道吗？ 我想也许
And you know what? I'm thinking maybe
我们可以重修七年级 你知道吗？
we redo seventh grade. You know what?
十年后 当我们47岁的时候
And, in ten years, when we're 47-teen,
我们再来一次
we do it again!
高中很棒
High school is awesome.
毕业快乐 书呆子们
Happy graduation, nerds.
噢 看看这些书呆子
Oh, look at the nerds.
书呆子
Nerds!
高中糟透了
High school sucks.
重返校园
所以 你们俩
So, you two dated
在爸妈认识之前就约会了
before Mom and Dad even knew each other.
- 远远之前 - 是的 而且其实
- Way before. - Yes. And, in the end,
我们在一起的时间长多了
we were together for way longer
- 比他们在一起的时间都长 - 长多了
- than they ever were. - Way longer.
你们知道 这也不会改变什么
You know, this doesn't change anything.
我还是个姐姐被
I'm still the guy in high school
哥哥操了的高中生
whose brother fucks his sister.
是啊 但除了上高中的人
Yeah, but nobody cares about what people think
根本就没人在乎人们在高中的想法
about in high school except the people in high school.
这样家庭晚餐就会奇怪得不行了
This is gonna make for some weird family dinners.
你们的祖父母知道吗？
Do any of the grandparents know?
是的 但这只是因为他们四个
Yes, but only because all four of them
都是亲生兄弟姐妹
are biological siblings.
一点都不好笑
Not even close to funny.
不 很有趣
Yeah, that was pretty funny
不 不好笑 认真的 不好笑
No, not funny. Seriously, not funny.
哦 很有趣 实际上 我也
Oh, it was pretty funny. Actually, also
和家里的狗约会过一段时间
for a while there, I dated the family dog.
但这比其他任何事都更性感多了
But that was more sexual than anything else is.
是啊 但你们恋爱了
Yeah, but you guys are in love.
性是一只山羊
The sexual was the goat
因为你们在那里真的做爱做了一段时间
'cause you guys were really fucking for a while there.
看起来很有趣 有点
And it was fun to watch, a little bit,
但我有时会有点嫉妒
but I got a bit jealous sometimes.
所以 如果我们不再关心
So, if we don't care what people in high school
高中学生的想法
think anymore,
你想试一试吗？
Did you want to give this a shot?
不再鬼鬼祟祟了？
No more sneaking around?